2011 is going down as a year of craziness. I can already see our Christmas letter. Let me give you a sneak peak.
We have had extreme weather (-20 temperatures to record high heat; 25″ of snow to 15″ of flooding rains and now a drought). Our family was sick off and on for the first five months of this year.
Immediately after the sickness left, we were hit with governmental yuck which has turned out to be extremely time consuming and stressful. In the process we created the JLM Media company that now owns ABCJLM and this blog. Unfortunately we are still fighting some personal government issues. Needless to say both of these items were and are totally out of our hands, taking our rights away, and being decided by other people.
In June, I hit the 2 Year Curriculum hard. With the help of others and the leading of the Holy Spirit, it was finished and is now available on the website! The word about ABCJLM is getting out. People are loving the curriculum and telling others! Book orders have been amazing. I sit back and awe at how God is getting the Word of God through the curriculum into so many homes, schools, and businesses! Unfortunately, our printing company has been experiencing issues with their equipment. Ugh…
To add to all of this…have you been following the national news?? Need I say more.
Okay, time for some deep-down honesty.
I am struggling. I have never felt this way in my life. Just recently, I was able to name the feeling…panic. As I think about these different issues. I start panicing. See the problem is that I am not in control over any of this – sickness, weather, government, printing. None. In each case, I am relying on other people and God to make decisions about me.
I don’t deal well with this. Just keeping it real.
When I get that stomach-turning feeling of panic, I am reminded to lay it down. Lay it down at the feet of my Sovereign God. I remind myself through prayer, “God, You are bigger than this. God, You are into the details. God, You know what I can handle.”
You know what torks me off the most? Each time I have to “deal” with an issue, I lose time with my husband and kiddos. Actually the fact that time is fleeting causes panic in my heart. I want to add that my husband has been extremely supportive through all of this. Sometimes it is with a quiet hug. Sometimes he reminds me that how I show my frustration with others reflexes on my testimony. (Good reminder!) Sometimes he reminds me to lay it down.
The enemy has a way of bringing up these fears and worries. My mind starts working and the blood pressure rises. Or, I can claim the thoughts captive and lay them at God’s feet. Rest my mind and thoughts on the promise that He is Sovereign.
Dear God,
Even as I type this, my anxious thoughts are knocking. God, You are bigger. You are all-knowing. You are in control of every elected official, the weather, our health, and all of the printing equipment. Lord, I claim all of this as warfare and rest in the fact that You hold the keys. Calm my anxious heart. As I search the Scriptures, You remind me over and over not to worry. I stand on Your promises to take care of us and ask that You be glorified in all of this. In Jesus’ name…
