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Look at the above picture. Wow! A mom spending time with her son, giggling while playing together. They are both laughing and clearly enjoying the quality time together. What a good mom!
Ever take a picture of a family situation just because for a split second everything was perfect? You hurry to post it on Facebook in attempt to “wow” people.
Let’s be honest…Who doesn’t covet the “good mom” label? And who doesn’t envy those prelabeled “good” moms in your neighborhood, Bible study, or play group?
Maybe “good mom” isn’t the term you use. If you hang around the Christian circle, you may possibly use the term “Proverbs
31 mom.” This makes it more biblical and a more godly goal.
We all desire this because we have an idea of what we want to be as moms. We also keep a mental list of how we are falling short and why the label will never be crowned on our heads.
Being a Proverbs 31 woman isn’t a bad goal. And just so we are on the same page, let’s
make a list of what this type of woman
in the 21st century would do or wouldn’t do.
She…
- Is
the envy of everyone who knows her. - Never
yells at her children. - Works
out every day and runs marathons to raise money for research and
orphanages. - Simply
“looks” at her children and they straighten up. - Volunteers
at her children’s schools, the church, and at the local soup
kitchen. - Makes
memories for her children by creating traditions that her family looks
forwards to. - Wears
a size 4 and can easily wear the latest fashions because everything looks
great on her body! - Never
gripes or complains but yet is “real” with people. - Has
children who have never seen a spat between their parents. - Has
the kind of home where all the neighbor kids want to hang out because of
her fabulous yard and amazing snacks. - Holds
family devotions for her children every day. - Starts
each morning with coffee or hot tea and her Bible while sitting on the
back porch watching the sun rise. - Provides
a listening ear and godly counsel for all the neighborhood teen girls – and
they heed every word she offers. - Has
perfectly mannered children. - She
stands by her man – especially in front of the children. - Has
a home which is always clean, straight, and beautifully decorated. - Loves
to have company over and prepares magazine-worthy meals. - Wisely
bites her tongue when she and her husband disagree. - Adores
her mother-in-law and sister-in-laws. Considers them precious
friends, in fact. - Makes
only healthy and delicious meals, school lunches, and snacks. - Is
completely humble and gives God all of the glory, but not in a
cheesy-sorta way.
Looking over the
complete list, it is almost comical.
But as I read through a list similar to this in Julie Barnhill’s book, She’s
Gonna Blow!. I realized how subconsciously I actually
believe some of these bullet points. I believe that in order to be a
Proverbs woman I have to do at least a few of these things – all of the
time.
And if you dissect this list, looking at each individual attribute, I bet
you can find several which you believe to be true as well.
The problem?
This list isn’t realistic. We are all human and no one can do it all…perfectly…all of the time.
Secondly, this list doesn’t take into account
the gifts and abilities that God has uniquely gifted each one of His
children. None of us have been
given all of these gifts! I Corinthians 12 and Romans 12
specifically give a list of gifts given to Christians by the Holy Spirit –
wisdom, faith, teacher, serving, leading, etc. Romans
12:6 says, “We have different gifts,
according to the grace given to each of us.” To do all of the
things in the list above, we would need all of the gifts available.
Third, Proverbs 31 provides us with a
list of attributes of the perfect woman. Because we live in a
sinful state we will never attain these characteristics this side of
Heaven. Our goal is to continually reflect more of Him in our
lives. In the same way, it is our goal to mirror the attributes of the Proverbs
31 woman because she mirrors Christ.
Last, God is sovereign. He is the Alpha
and the Omega. He is above all and over
all. This means that He may have other
plans for me. God doesn’t have to fit
everyone and everything into the neat little boxes that I have placed it all
in.
So, if the list is unrealistic due to
our sinful nature, how God has uniquely gifted us, and the fact that God is
sovereign, then how do we go from survival to becoming the coveted Proverbs 31
woman?
Julie Barnhill helped me see that God doesn’t call me to be a
“good” mother, wife, or friend. God is not asking me to match
up to the culture’s ideas. Instead, He has called me to become more like Him – to be a “godly” woman.
Read more about Becoming a Godly Woman and Help for Anger Management.
How I deeply want to be a godly mother. If you desire to know more, you can read additional ideas in our free ebook, “A Quiet Time, Worth the Time.”
