Help in Anger Management #3

Wisdom Point #3 – Learning to Really Listen

My older two kiddos discuss books that they read at school. If I haven’t read these books, I make a mental note of the titles so that when I am browsing the picture books at the library, I can check them out. No, David!
is a book that I have heard mentioned. After reading this novelty, I was shocked that it was one worth mentioning because the entire book is an adult telling David “No!”.

About three-quarters of the way through the book, I felt the Holy Spirit’s elbow in my ribs. (This means that it was getting personal!)  I was the mom in the picture book.  How I get into the rut of saying “no” to everything my child says. My first reaction is no!

The problem is that I am not truly listening to my child. I am anticipating him or her saying something to annoy me. And I don’t have time to be annoyed!  To make matters worse, my children don’t accept my impatient “no” with a polite “Yes, Mommy” and that makes me irritated. 

Julie Ann Barnhill says: 

The real trick is learning to listen past all those annoying communications and hear the real message behind them, which is “Mom, I love you and I need you.”

Taking time to hear the real message behind the words. 

I have seen this played out so many times in our home. Here is an example. When Sweet Pea gets insecure, she attacks me with questions. When I don’t take the time to really listen to her, I see the situation as simply an annoying conversation. But when I stop, get on her level, and listen with my heart, I hear a little girl who is insecure and unsure what to do.

Until our children learn how to use their words to voice what’s really going on (which in some cases is never) we must love them enough to play detective and find the truth behind what is being said.  This means getting rid of the no-disease and irritation to hear the real message behind the words.    Our children are begging us to.