Periodically on the ABCJLM Facebook Group, a mom will comment that her child is gifted. Her 18-month-old knows his ABC’s. Another will share that her 3-year-old is reading or her son is advanced and needs a harder curriculum or he will get bored.
It is very exciting to be raising a child who excels in a specific area. Friends are amazed and strangers stop and watch. But what does God desire in parenting a gifted child?
Development
For every area that a child excels is an area where the child struggles. While one child is counting to 100, another child is building large structures with blocks. Still another is quoting poems and another is hitting a ball pitched overhand.
A dear friend of mine has twin 4-year-old girls. A few weeks ago, she and I discussed how different the two girls are. One is advanced in letters and numbers. The other girl is struggling with academics.
If these girls had different parents, one mom could easier feel “less” as a mom because of their differences.
But because this momma sees the development of both, she understands that there is more to building a foundation than letters and numbers. She sees them flip flop in development. One is stronger in fine motor while the other is working on spatial awareness. Then they flip so one is focusing on gross motor while the other excels in academics. Then they flip again.
This is parenting toddlers and preschoolers. Children focus on one part of development at a time. That is why you see the variance, yet by 4th grade it evens out. This is why wise parents don’t focus only on what the child is excelling on at that moment; they focus on comprehensive learning.
Yes, there are those children who stay ahead of the curve, but it oftentimes looks different when they are older than it does in preschool. Our job as parents is to develop all areas so our children are well rounded and not just strong in one area.
Boredom
Sometime in this current age we have been led to believe that if we don’t push our children, they will get bored in the learning. I really don’t believe this. I think the truly bright children always find something to fill their brains. The children that are getting bored aren’t reaching their full potential.
Instead of letting the fear of boredom sway your decisions, look at the whole child and help him blossom in all areas of learning. Help the child learn to use his gifts to glorify God. Help him develop the perseverance and drive to work through the things that are harder. Teach him to love others. These areas of focus will make sure a child is never bored.
Read: Why I Hate the Word “Bored”
Parenting a Gifted Child
Parenting a truly gifted child is a huge responsibility. God created that child unique for a reason.
Definitely run with the child’s abilities, but force the child to work on the things that don’t come naturally. Give him challenges. Put him in social situations even if the other kids aren’t doing some of the things he is doing.
Use the child’s creativity or ease of learning and memorizing to fill his or her brain with truth of the Scriptures.
What if My Children Are Not Gifted
Friends…my four children are a mixture of talents, personalities, and gifts. Whether they are labeled gifted or not, my parenting responsibilities don’t change. I am commanded to “impress” upon each of my children to Love God (obey) and Love Others.
Do yourself a favor and put down the comparison sword. This is a battle that God never intended for us to fight. Find your kudos in who God is and how you are a forgiven child of God, instead of what your children do. Change your focus from others, to God. And you will be free in a ways you’ve never been before.
Watch the Video: What Has God Called Parent to Do?
The one thing I would add, is make sure you focus on building humility. We have 3, all of which are “ahead of the curve.” One is so far ahead of the curve in reading, and she’s become very aware of that in the past year. She doesn’t struggle much with holding it over her peers, but she does with her siblings because she can recall when she learned the things they’re learning. We work constantly to encourage her to use words that build them up instead. Since reading has taken care of itself, we don’t teach it as a homeschool subject currently. We have really buckled down on math. While she’s still a full year ahead in math, it doesn’t come nearly as easily. It takes a lot more focus from her. It has really helped put the pride in check, and she gets so excited when she masters something that’s been challenging her.
That is a great reminder. Thank you for sharing! –heidi