I pray that you will be encouraged as you read this article written by Trevin Wax and featured on the Focus on the Family blog. It will be worth your time.
I encourage you to replace your name or the pronoun “I” for each “you” in the article.
Dear _______,
[I am] a gift of God to [my] husband and [my] kids.
But [I] don’t always feel that way….
There’s a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into [my] heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.
[I] scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. [I] find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.
In [my] heart, [I]want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. [I] know it’s an honor to be entrusted with these kids. [I] know [I’ve] only got one shot. [I] want to be the mom who teaches [my children] the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.
But most of the time [I] feel like [I’m] barely holding it all together.
Read more and be encouraged because the article does not end here… (Update: Unfortunately this article is no longer available.)
Are you to the place where you feel powerless and are in need of God?
This hit home. I am in such a low place right now. I am 8 weeks postpartum with my 3rd child. We just moved 700 miles away from home for a temporary time (4 months) for my husband's job. My kiddos are 3, 2 and 8 weeks old. The rental home we are in is about 25% the size we are used to and we are all extremely sleep deprived. To top this off, I just learned that my mother may have cervical cancer. God must think I am really strong because I don't think I can handle all this! My coping mechanisms are failing me as I hear my children's frustration coming out…because they hear mine. My kids have always been great when out and about but in the last week we have had MAJOR meltdowns at every single store. I seriously don't think I am holding this together at all! Thanks for the post because I know God has me in His care. If I lean on Him all this becomes possible to handle. Thanks Heidi for your blog! It has been a HUGE blessing to my family in more ways than I can share in a comment!
Anna – My heart cries out for you. The lack of sleep, small children, being far from home, children amuck – it's a lot to deal with.
There are three things that I want to encourage you to do.
1. Reach out for help. As moms we think that we need to do it all and our pride doesn't let us ask for help (at least mine doesn't). I hope that you have been able to find a church and get plugged in. If not, call the pastor and find out if there is a women's ministry or MOPS group nearby.
2. Depending on your level of postpartum, you may need to talk to your doctor. Postpartum is real and can be very serious. Praise God that there are professionals to help people overcome depression. I have been there and am very thankful for the help that I received.
3. How are your quiet times? I am guessing that you are struggling to find the time. I get that. But, God took me to a very low place where I realized that it didn't matter how many thing that I "thought" I had to do, I had to start each morning in prayer and reading His Word. I CAN NOT go a day with out it. (I wrote a blog series on this about a month ago.) I believe this may be the most important thing for you to do.
As a mom of four, I don't say this lightly. I understand how crazy it is and how just a little more sleep is so important. But, I promise that it will be worth it. (Nursing time for me was a great quiet time. Just a thoughts.)
I wish you lived nearby because I would come and get your kiddos right now to let you take a shower and a nap! Hang in there sweet girl and email me if you have more questions.
God is right there and He looks at you with loving eyes.