This transcript has been edited for clarity.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 00:00
On today’s podcast episode, we are going to get into the topic of teaching your child to read the Bible on their own. We have covered choosing a children’s Bible, so be sure to reference that episode before you start this one. Today we really want to hash out how you begin the process of raising a child or, starting in the middle, maybe teaching a child, to read their Bible all by themselves so that they might become a lifelong lover of God’s Word.
Heidi Franz Host 00:32
Welcome back to Parenting To Impress. Your go-to podcast to learn practical ways to love God and love others and impress this on the hearts of your children. I am your host, Heidi Franz, and I am joined by my dear friend, Melanie Simpson. Two moms who have made a lot of mistakes but have found grace and truth along the way. Melanie, since my kids were little, I have been praying for them to have a love of God’s Word. I want them to desire to read God’s Word. I want them to love God’s Word. I want them to see God’s Word as their hope and their go-to.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 01:09
Yes, I’m in agreement. How many times have I written in my journal that I want my kids to have a hunger for God’s Word, a passion for God’s Word, and a desire for God’s Word?
Heidi Franz Host 01:16
But that is something that doesn’t just happen. It would be great if it did. It would. And obviously, the Holy Spirit can work in our kids’ lives and build that. But our goal is to start from the beginning, and what we’re going to talk about today are activities that we can do with our children to build that love for the Bible, and then for them to have that desire to read it on their own.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 01:50
Basically passing the baton. As with all things here on this podcast and part of ABCJesusLovesMe ministry and curriculum, you’re going to hear us say layers, foundations. And so, starting with the early years, newborn into those preschool years, we just started reading the Bible to our kids.
Heidi Franz Host 02:01
Clearly, they are not reading yet. So exactly, reading it to them. Reading a quality children’s Bible. And again, you can go and listen to that podcast where we talk specifically about children’s Bibles and some of our favorites. Melanie, what did that look like in your home?
Melanie Simpson Co-host 02:17
For us, it was often around mealtimes. They would be sitting at the table and I would just be reading to them, or at bedtime or nap time. A lot of times, Heidi, they would come out when I was having my quiet time and I would give them a board book version of the Bible or a children’s Bible, and they were often really excited to participate with me -that makes them feel so big.
Heidi Franz Host 02:39
It’s just like the process of them wanting to help you fold laundry, or them wanting to dust or vacuum or sweep because they want to mirror what you’re doing.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 02:50
That’s really the very first step of discipleship is just inviting that other person, no matter what age they are, into the process of “this is how I do it.” The first step is I read my Bible. And I read it, sometimes in the morning, in the afternoon, at night, sometimes all three. When they’re infants, praying scripture over them, so they’re still getting God’s word, but it might just be in a prayer form. As they are getting older, into those toddler years, sometimes it was a matter of keeping little hands busy. So this is just a training where you are learning to sit still coloring a book or tracing letters, whatever it is, while you’re reading God’s word. But it’s the first step in training to be still to hear God’s word.
Heidi Franz Host 03:34
We used the Beginner’s Bible, which is the one that I highly suggest in the ABCJesusLovesMe curriculum, and that book had fantastic pictures.
03:44
My husband, specifically, would read to the children every night before they went to bed from this Bible and they would read through from cover to cover. I don’t know how many times they did this and he was very wise to only read as much as the kids could that night. There were nights when he could read three or four Bible stories. There were nights when one story was all they needed. He kept that fun for the kids while he was reading to them. And then what happens is, as they are learning those Bible stories, then they will take those Bibles, and I can see so well, my kiddos sitting on the couch looking through page after page after page. They had learned those Bible stories well enough that they were telling the Bible stories to themselves while looking at the pictures. The Bible became an exciting book for them just as much as the Little Blue Truck and Corduroy and the Dr Seuss books. It was a book that they wanted to read on their own. The difference was that the stories we told them were true.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 04:52
That can become kind of a differentiation for them when you say we are going to read God’s word, and it is true and I’m going to share a story with you. But I also love what you said because it so clearly exemplifies sharing the joy and the love that we have for God’s word. It’s not a chore, it’s not a punishment. It is just drawing them in to see the goodness of God.
Heidi Franz Host 05:21
I highly encourage that the kiddos have their own Bible, one that they can call theirs. Something that they can have during quiet time to read, that they can hold while you’re reading, maybe an adult Bible. Letting them have a quality Bible. And again, you can check out that podcast in the show notes for our suggestions about this
Melanie Simpson Co-host 05:46
Then, as you begin to transition into early reading, elementary years, you add a layer of the foundation. Maybe you’ve got kiddos that are beginning to read themselves. What a joy it is to get to see them picking out words. Heidi has a great Bible called My Learn to Read Bible and it’s so sweet because it has pictures. So like in the scripture if it says, and then Mary filled up the jars, instead of the word jars, it’s a picture of a jar. How fun for a kid to be able to go: “jars, I just read scripture!”
Heidi Franz Host 06:16
Yes, absolutely! I love that. This was a fantastic book. The kids really enjoyed this one and then they got to participate. And in the elementary age, I want to encourage you not to just get rid of your children’s Bible, because those children’s Bibles are typically written on a second or third-grade reading level, so you can use those with your elementary kids for them to be able to read.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 06:40
They know the stories backwards and forwards, and what happens then is they begin to transfer the children’s Bible version into a little bit more complicated text, and it gives them the confidence that they need to know God’s word never changed. The underpinning of what I learned when I was four is the same as when I’m 10, is this the same when I’m 100.
Heidi Franz Host 07:02
Popcorn reading is a great way to do the Bible time. That’s where you read a sentence or a paragraph and they read a sentence or a paragraph or a page or however you want to do it. You’re starting to give them more ownership of that reading time.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 07:19
And we love to give our kids just blank composition books and call them their Bible journals and they could do whatever they wanted. We taught them the SOAP method, which is Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer. Now Heidi, I’m talking a word, two words, or when they were younger and couldn’t write as well, sometimes I would write part of the scripture for them and they could trace over it. They do the rainbow write, like you teach in the ABCJesusLovesMe curriculum. But it also offers them an opportunity to begin to make the connection between what I read in God’s word a) I’m learning something about God, b), I’m learning something about myself, and then c), I have to do something with this. God’s word changes me.
Heidi Franz Host 08:01
It’s not passive. The one difference that I do see between the toddler and preschool ages versus the elementary is that the questions that you ask start to get deeper In toddlers and preschoolers. My goal is for the children just to learn the facts of the Bible story, to know who God is, what God did, and what did the people in the Bible do. And then in the elementary age, we’re going to start looking at some applications. As they’re reading the Bible with you, the questions are going to be “What does this mean to you?” What do you learn in this? How did Joseph feel – we’re getting into feelings and emotions. What did God think when the people did blank?
Melanie Simpson Co-host 08:44
And then I love how, as you begin to see your child maturing in their comprehension of not just reading, but of the wonder and awe of God, that transfers over to: what does Jesus do in my heart? and the question: what does it matter? What does it matter if you believe in Jesus and we’re reading God’s word together? Why does it matter to you, to your life? You can start teasing out those questions with your kids and elementary years. It comes personal. And then, Heidi, I know that you are also talking about beginning Bible studies at this age. Is this later, elementary, that you did those?
Heidi Franz Host 09:23
Yes, later in elementary we used the Kay Arthur Discover for Yourself Bible studies and I loved these because they were inductive. So it introduced the children to getting deeper into the word. And then Kay Arthur did a fantastic job of letting the child feel like they’re a detective. They got to find secret codes and they got to investigate, so it made it very fun and age-appropriate. There are several different options and for the most part, I did not do those studies with my children. They did them on their own and then I was available for help and I would provide the time for them to do it. I would encourage them, “Hey, have you done your quiet time?”Have you done your time in the word today? Have you done your devotional?” It became more of an encouragement -it was not an assignment.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 10:19
I agree. We do BSF – Bible Study Fellowship International. There are classes globally and they have a student program that literally goes from kindergarten all the way through high school and we found those to be really helpful in partnering with us to help our kids learn how to study God’s word for themselves. There are lots of really good, biblically sound options to partner with you, but you don’t even need that. You can do this on your own, because the three basic questions, as you’ve heard Heidi and myself are 1. what are we learning about God, 2. what are we learning about humankind and 3. what we’re supposed to do with this information? And we are always available to answer questions.
Heidi Franz Host 11:12
Yes, always available for those questions, always available for that encouragement and for that accountability.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 11:21
But it’s not a chore. We don’t ever want to equate spending time in God’s word as a have-to. It’s a get to.
Heidi Franz Host 11:30
And it’s also not a “you messed up. What does the Bible say?” I just have great concern about using the Bible and reading the Bible as a disciplinary measure. Yes, kids need to see the Bible as the truth, but when you throw it in their faces it can be something that they grow to disdain.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 12:00
We’re going to get to more of how to help your children apply scripture to their lives in another episode, so I think we can dig more into that. But we just want to be really, really careful to not become like the Pharisees and the Sadducees in regards to scripture, where we become legalistic about it. Because what happens is that we literally stand between our child and the Holy Spirit. We somehow become the gatekeepers for the Holy Spirit to be working in and through them, and that is a really dangerous place to be.
Heidi Franz Host 12:34
We don’t want children to equate, “If I read my Bible then this will happen.”
12:42
One of the things that I want to encourage you in the preteen and teen years is to provide your children with tools, and it’s not a case of every Christmas and every birthday you give them another devotional and another book. But we want to provide them with things that encourage them to spend time reading God’s Word. But it’s not forced. So my daughter especially- she would come to me and say, hey, mom, I just heard about this new devotional, or I just heard about this new journal. Is it something that I could get? Absolutely, I immediately ordered it for her because I want to encourage that.
13:34
So, provide tools for your kids. One of the things that I would encourage is, if you come up with an idea that you think would help your kids in conversation, say, hey, I just read about this, or I just saw this, is it something that you think you would be interested in? And if they say yes, then you can say would you like me to order it for you? If they say no, really don’t push back.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 14:04
I love that because, first of all, you’re giving them ownership over their own faith, but also it goes back to that we are not forcing it down their throats. In our family, we have a lot of boys. The boys outnumber the girls three to one. I don’t want to make blanket statements, but I have found it to be the case that with our boys, reading their Bibles was hard for them. Whereas our daughter could sit down and read for hours, our boys found it a little more challenging. So I also want to recommend having the audio Bible. There are apps on your phone, or you can do it on your laptop so that you can be in control of how that happens. But with their Bible open, they are reading the Word of God, but also hearing it. Sometimes that is just the bridge they need, so it’s not quite so taxing. Or if you have a kid who’s just not a great reader, it happens, it’s okay. An audio Bible can be helpful, but I still recommend having scripture open in front of them as well, so they don’t become dependent on hearing. It’s both the seeing and the hearing. And then just remember, they have different personalities.
15:09
Some kids love to journal and they want all the highlighters and the pens and the things. They want the journaling Bible. That’s great. Some kids want just the bare bones scripture. They don’t want all the notes and everything. That’s too much information for them. And then some kids really want a study Bible. They want all of the extra help and the information. So, just like Heidi said, maybe just asking them in their teen years “Hey, Dad and I would love to gift you a new Bible, what do you think would be helpful to you?”
Heidi Franz Host 15:36
Involving them in what they want instead of what you think they want, so providing those tools. The second thing about teens that I encourage you to do is to ask questions, and it’s not probing questions, trying to find out this deep amount of information from them. But it’s just coming alongside and saying, “Hey, what are you learning in your quiet time right now? Can I share what I’m learning right now?” And asking those questions as a brother walking alongside a brother, as a sister walking alongside a sister. Yes, you’re still in the mom-child relationship, but you’re starting to pass that baton.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 16:27
Especially once your child has accepted Christ and really is your brother or sister in Christ. We need to be, I think, mindful to not be condescending. Scripture talks about the youth and what they are capable of in the church and in the community of believers. That gives them something to be called up to, which is to not let your youth be a detriment to you, but also as your older brother and sister in Christ, I can ask questions. I can share something like “In my X amount of years here on planet Earth, God has really taught me this. What do you think about that?” I don’t know that if you walked in our house you’d be like, “Oh, they’re having Bible study together” or they’re doing a devotional together. What’s happening now at the dinner table is more conversational. It’s “Hey guys, I had this issue at work and the Holy Spirit really convicted me to leave that room because it was gossip.” or whatever the situation is. And then talking about what Scripture has to say about that issue. It really becomes more of a friendship, fellow believers talking together, and that is such a sweet, sweet time.
Heidi Franz Host 17:30
Absolutely. The last point that I want to say about preteens and teens is to make it easy for them to attend youth groups and to meet with the cool people. Those youth group leaders make it really easy. I had a wise older mom tell me that her answer was always yes to the things that would further her child spiritually. So it was always yes to youth group. It was always yes to purchasing some devotional tools. It was always yes to meeting with a youth group leader. Those things were easy decisions for her because while I can say the exact same thing as their youth group leader, their youth group leader has more sway over my child. It’s just the way it is, because they have the cool feature.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 18:29
I’m just thinking about some churches that maybe don’t have a thriving youth program, but even if you have them in the pew next to you, sometimes just hearing the same words from a pastor. Yes, Heidi, you’re so wise – just being sure that we have a community of believers other than mom and dad who can say the same thing. That’s also just a good reminder to our kids that we do belong to the capital C church, the global church. Also, help them navigate good resources in terms of podcasts and books that can be resources, but still always remind them that God’s Word is first, that’s the foundation. Those other things are wonderful tools, but we must be able to be dependent on God’s Word first and foremost.
Heidi Franz Host 19:14
We have an entire podcast on using self-help books in our devotional time, so you can check that one out as well. Okay, Melanie, there are two last things that I want to cover. The first one is we cannot talk the talk and not walk the walk. Right, we can talk to our kids until we’re blue in the face about how the Bible is important, about how God’s word is true that we must go to it, that we must read it, that we must spend time in it. But if our children, even preschoolers, don’t see us in the Word, they will see it as a lie. We must go to the Word, we must be in the Word if we want our children to see it as important. This is a theme that goes throughout almost every podcast we talk about. We have to walk the walk.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 20:12
We lose authority when our children see us as hypocrites. Yes, it’s that simple, and so if you want to have any authority, any voice in your child’s life, it requires that we do what we say.
Heidi Franz Host 20:26
Now for the parent who is listening, who goes “I did not read the Bible to my toddler. I never sat down and read with my elementary child.” I want to tell you it’s not too late. Just jump in and if you don’t know the Word, not a problem. Become a student of the Word with your child. But here’s another question, what if my child doesn’t want to read the Bible? Let’s start with toddler, preschool, and elementary. Let’s put all those together, Melanie, and let’s talk about a child who does not want to sit down and read the Bible. How would you handle that? And then we’ll go into the teens.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 21:12
Anybody who’s listened to this podcast probably knows where we’re going, but it’s training first. My first question is do they not sit for anything? Are they allowed just to roam free, regardless of what the task is? And so if that’s the case, then start with just training.
Heidi Franz Host 21:27
That’s where training comes first.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 21:33
I’m guessing that kid doesn’t sit still for dinner or all the things.
Heidi Franz Host 21:36
And so when you see it across the board, then you go, okay, this isn’t just a Bible issue, right? Now, when you say, no Heidi, actually the child will sit for books, the child sits for meals, the child sits for different things in an age-appropriate way. It’s just every time I get the Bible out, then we’ve got to step back, and as parents think what are we doing during Bible time? Or is it the book that I am using? Am I using a children’s book that the child is not relating to? Or am I trying to read to them in a version that they’re not understanding? Am I not involving them in the Bible time? So maybe what we need to look at is the ABCJesusLovesMe Old Testament and New Testament curriculum and get them involved in the Bible story.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 22:28
Just kind of piggybacking off of that is what are you requiring of the child in your Bible time that you don’t require of the child at any other point in time? And I’m not saying that we don’t have high standards, that is not what I’m saying. But what I’m saying is if when you do story time just regular reading books it’s five, 10 minutes tops, and now you’re sitting down with the Bible and you’re expecting 30 minutes to an hour, and right before bedtime, when they’re exhausted, or before nap time, it’s not going to work.
Heidi Franz Host 22:58
We must look at what are our expectations on timing.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 23:01
Once you have given that some thought the next thing would be if they are literally associating the cover of that Bible that you’ve been using with something unpleasant and they have now become trained to run the other way when they see that. Then you need to pick something else and give them something to hold while you’re reading to them. Give them a board book Bible or a beginning Bible and say we’re going to try something new today.
Heidi Franz Host 23:27
Completely reset and start over. I would encourage you to talk to some older, wiser women in your life and explain what you’re doing. I’d be happy to talk to you on the ABCJesusLovesMe website. Come and live chat with me and let’s brainstorm some ideas to reset. Melanie, let’s go to the preteens. These are the kiddos who are starting to make their own decisions, and you have given them the tools. You have read the Bible stories to them. They know God’s word, but yet they don’t want to read it on their own. What do we do?
Melanie Simpson Co-host 24:05
That’s so hard because, of course, our hearts are aching for them to have that personal relationship with the Lord and to have a hunger and a passion for God’s word. In my experience, it is a hard road to walk if you begin to force this on your kids.
Heidi Franz Host 24:27
You can’t make a child love the Bible. You cannot make a child see the Bible as their truth.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 24:35
And I can’t save my kids. So at the end of the day, I’m trying to be the Holy Spirit for my child and it doesn’t work. It absolutely cannot work. Without getting too personal, we definitely have been in this position where we are walking alongside children who say they love Jesus, and have given their lives to the Lord, but are finding it difficult, challenging, to connect that relationship with God’s Word. I think that’s the best way to say it. They know the value. They’ve been raised to see God’s Word as truth. But to be compelled on their own to want to dig into God’s word, it just hasn’t clicked yet.
Heidi Franz Host 25:18
And I would also say to mamas we have four kiddos in our home and those four kiddos each have a different relationship with the Bible. Those four kiddos were raised the exact same way as far as Bible stories. So I’m not going to get prideful about the child who is reading through the Bible and is almost done with the Old Testament. I mean, most adults don’t survive the Old Testament and he’s reading it word for word. He loves his Bible and I’m going to say that’s not me.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 25:58
Right, and likewise you don’t get hopeless over the one who is like yeah, I read it at church and that’s the last time I touched it.
Heidi Franz Host 26:06
And that is letting go and saying this is between the child and God. I can’t force this.
Melanie Simpson Co-host 26:15
Absolutely. We cannot force a love of the Lord on our children, and that’s hard. That’s a hard place to be. But what I love about this conversation, Heidi, is not only have we given really practical tips for walking through from infancy to later teens, but it’s also applicable to an adult who’s coming to Christ for the first time. You know you want to start just with the basics, just reading scripture and taking your time, but remember that any time you spend in the Word of God it’s a joy, it’s a privilege, and it’s a blessing because you are meeting the Creator in those pages. And it takes time.
We don’t read the Bible cover to cover and go “I’m done, I’m finished. I never have to read the Bible again.” No, walking with the Lord is a lifelong journey and you can read your Bible a hundred million times over and you will get something new every time. We just are so grateful for this conversation. Thank you for joining us as we chatted about how to teach your children to read the Bible on their own, and we hope that you’ll come back and listen to the other podcast episode, which is going to get into helping your children apply scripture to their own lives.
Announcer 27:25
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