This transcript has been lightly updated for clarity.
Heidi Host 00:00
Melanie, about once a month, we sit down at a restaurant, talk about how our families are doing, how jobs are doing, how our hearts are doing. As we stated in the very first podcast episode of Parenting to Impress, we are inviting our listeners to sit down in the booth with us. So today, I invite you to the virtual restaurant where we are going to talk about our goals for 2025 and what God is teaching us. Come, sit down with us.
Welcome back to Parenting to Impress, your go-to podcast to learn practical ways to love God and love others and impress this on the hearts of your children. I am your host, Heidi Franz, and I am joined by my dear friend, Melanie Simpson. Two moms who have made a lot of mistakes but have found grace and truth along the way.
So, Melanie, typically when we’re sitting down, one of us says “Okay, you go first. Tell me how your kids are, tell you how your job is.” We’re gonna skip that for today and we’re gonna go right into that question of, “Mel, how’s your heart?”
Melanie Co-host
Right to the heavy hitting question.
Heidi Host
Absolutely not. No, backing away!
Melanie Co-host 01:16
I don’t think that I encountered this level of conversation until I had Godly girlfriends. I can think back to friendships that I had in college and even out of college initially, and I mean they were sweet Christian women, but we just didn’t have the – I don’t know – maybe just the maturity to really say, “Okay, honestly, what’s going on, what is the Lord teaching you?”
Heidi Host 01:43
Yeah. And I would say, maturity comes in many different levels. It’s maturity to be honest with somebody. It’s also maturity to be vulnerable with somebody.
Melanie Co-host 01:53
That’s a great point. When we ask each other these questions, it’s always with the assumption that the other person has been praying about these things.
Melanie Co-host 02:02
I don’t want to skip over that part, because it’s a key component in sitting down and having these conversations. I know that you have been actively praying throughout your days, and so these are things that don’t just kind of come off the cuff. We’ve been kind of marinating in them.
Heidi Host 02:17
That’s a really good point, because when I go and ask you a question or you ask me a question, you are not looking for just my point of view or I’m not looking just for your point of view. What I’m looking for is: Does what Melanie says match up with what I’ve been reading in the scripture, with what I’ve been praying about? What I’ve been reading in the scripture with what I’ve been praying about, what I’ve been talking to my husband about? It’s that spiritual mentorship and friendship.
Melanie Co-host 02:55
And how many times do we whip out our phones and pull up the Bible app asking, “Where is that verse?” Or we look up different versions of a verse for better understanding. Say verses we are reminded of. I so appreciate that these conversations also spur us on to take it another step.
When we talked about this particular episode, we focused on what God is leading us to in 2025. Intentions, goals, whatever you want to call them. I shared with you back in 2024 that I felt the Lord was really calling me to be consistent and really, scripturally, that would be faithfulness, to be faithful. That was kind of across all the things, like in my health journey, in my spiritual journey. And then something happened and lo and behold, right after Christmas, just kind of digging into 1st Corinthians, which is what we’re going over at church and also doing some reading in Mark, the Lord moved my vision to the word “more.” I started going through passages and praying about all of that. “More” became my word for 2025, which is so weird because I usually don’t have a word.
Heidi Host 04:10
So, Melanie, as a listener, I hear the word “more” and I’m thinking, “That does not feel very spiritual because you know we’re supposed to be less.” So, you’ve got to tell everyone what you mean by “more”?
Melanie Co-host 04:26
First, in John 10:10, we know that Jesus said that He came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
And let me preface this by saying I feel like in the past three years, I’ve been in a season of decrease, decrease, decrease. Not just how much food I was putting in my mouth, but also as my children age, decrease my illusion of control, decrease my hands-on parenting decrease. The Lord convicted me that I was going to prayer and trying to spiritually manipulate the Lord for the outcome that I wanted for my kids. But over and over again over the past few years it has been a lessening. And this year I just felt like the Lord was opening my hands and my eyes and my heart and saying I want to give you this abundant life. If you would just be open to receive it. Now, please don’t misunderstand. This isn’t a physical blessing. This isn’t a financial blessing. This is a more joy, more peace, more of God. I also have been struggling in my quiet time and felt kind of disconnected and I don’t know, just like I was in a desert. All of a sudden after Christmas, it was just like the lights came back on and I had been hungry again for the Lord.
Heidi Host 05:47
I love that, and, Melanie, you and I both know, in order to have more God, more joy, more peace, you have to have less social media time, less coveting, less… you know whatever the less is. You only have so much space in your box, and so you can’t keep filling it with worldly things and then think well, but I can still have more God.
Melanie Co-host 06:22
In the book Word Before the World by Gretchen Saffles, she shares how often we open our phone first thing in the morning to the weather, our calendar, appointments, whatever it is and we get distracted. I had fallen into that pit. I was giving God less. I was spending less time in the Word.
We know God desires to give us all of himself. It’s just a matter of how much I am willing to give to him to receive that? That means the time that I set aside to be with him.
We’ve talked about this. We can pray in the car; we can pray outside while we’re walking. But we need dedicated time to just be in the Word. That was a major piece of my “more” puzzle. Okay, how about you?
Heidi Host 07:08
So, as you stated, we’ve been going through 1 Corinthians at church and whoa, there is so much in this study. Very first message that we heard at church asked, “What are you doing that’s hindering the gospel? What are you doing that is causing other people maybe to stumble, maybe to sin?” And I’m not talking about legalism here. I’m talking about the choices I make day in and day out.
Melanie Co-host 07:42
These two dovetail perfectly because one of the things that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 9 and 10 is rights. The Corinthian church was really concerned about their freedoms, their rights. We should be allowed to _____, fill in the blank, because we’re believers. Paul specifically addresses this idea that, in order to love your neighbor, the way Jesus expects us to, you have to think about other people. I mean, you’re not just an island, you have to think about other people. The scripture is all about this kind of balance between being mindful of others but not being pleasing. It’s a heart motive that dovetailed perfectly with this idea of a year of more. I can’t expect more of God if I continue to demand my way.
I can’t expect more joy, more peace, more Christ in me if I am unwilling to lay down my right to sleep, to food, that I want to gossip, to pride. I love how the Lord always does that, doesn’t He? He just weaves these threads together to give you this beautiful tapestry of what He’s doing in your life.
Heidi Host 08:54
Let me just give you a small example. When my husband says something that I don’t particularly care for, I feel like I have the right to speak back even though the Holy Spirit is saying, “Heidi, bite your tongue. This is not the time; this is not the place. Your heart is not after what brings me glory.” Another one with food. I have the right to eat that piece of apple pie that just came out of the oven. But the question is, “Is that best for you right now?”
I love the verses from 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. We are all runners in this race, and we should all be running to get the prize. But verse 25 really got my attention because it says, “Everyone who competes in the game goes into strict training.” I don’t want to do strict training, Melanie. I want to do what I want to do.
We’re not just talking about food and exercise here. We’re talking about strict training over my mind, when something comes to mind and I let it simmer there for days and not take that thought captive, thought captive. And then it goes on to say, “After that strict training, they do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like someone running aimlessly, like someone running without a purpose. I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow {or I discipline. I discipline} my body and make it a slave so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the price.”
Just to explain that I discipline my body and train it to do what it should do, because I don’t want to be disqualified from the prize from this race that God has called me from. And again, we are not talking about legalism here. We are talking about freedom and a desire to do what God has called me to do for the purpose that God has called me to do.
Melanie Co-host 11:31
Paul is expanding on that idea of loving your neighbor that if I don’t do what I’m asking someone else to do. Paul was preaching to the Corinthians and saying, “Look, you’ve got to stop this. You’ve been called to live a life that’s different. I have to discipline myself; I have to lay down my rights, and I wouldn’t ask you to do something that I won’t do myself.” Constant reminding us to question, “Am I living a life that exemplifies the gospel? Am I putting the effort to co-labor with Christ and the Holy Spirit to live a gospel life?”
Heidi Host 12:07
Until reading this 1 Corinthian study, for some reason it had never clicked with me how me training my mind, body, spirit be an example to my children of how to do that I need to not lie so my kids know not to lie. But I had never really thought about how I needed to go into strict training, so my kids see that example, which was exactly what Paul was to us.
Melanie Co-host 12:40
A parent relationship is one of the easiest to understand in terms of laying down your rights. With an infant, you expect you’re going to give up sleep. You have a toddler; you expect you’re going to put away breakables. You have a teenager; you expect you’re going to lose sleep. You’re going to have to sacrifice money. You’re going to have to sacrifice your time and your energy. Just a constant laying down of my right.
It’s not for my martyrdom which I think is a mistake that a lot of us make. At its core and at its best, it should be because we’re modeling the sacrificial life that Christ led in the same way.
Heidi Host 13:20
It’s not a prideful thing; it’s not a look at me, I’m so spiritual.
Melanie Co-host 13:26
Yes.
Heidi Host 13:27
It is humbly laying down. I think that’s what really changed my spiritual walk. When I came to a place in my life that I couldn’t move forward without my time in the Word and prayer. I realized I needed a Savior and because of what God has given to me, that gives me my purpose. I want other people to have that as well, that peace, that love, that joy. Not that I do it perfectly, but it’s what is available to me.
Melanie Co-host 14:09
One of the other aspects of that word “more” that came from Ephesians 3:20 is to ask the Lord, “What is it that you want to do? What is the “immeasurably more” that you want to do in my life, and how is that going to be expressed?”
Heidi Host 14:38
I’ve enjoyed these conversations. A lot of times we shut down restaurants because we keep talking and talking. You say something which prompts me to think about how it applies in my life. I’m so thankful for your friendship and how you spur me on.
If you’re someone who does not have a person who will sit down across the table from you and say, “Hey, how’s your heart? How are things going?” I encourage you to pray for that, because God will provide. He will provide.
Then be looking for those signs of what you are doing that maybe isn’t allowing for that friendship. Are you being honest; are you being open? Because it is a two-way street. You can want it, but you can also do things that can push away from that. Mel, would you close in prayer for us, please?
Melanie Co-host 15:37
Absolutely.
Father, God, I thank you so much for this time together. Thank you for this friendship with Heidi. What a blessing it has been in my life. And, Lord, I thank you too that you desire for believers to be in friendships, to have relationships with one another. For the woman who is listening to this podcast, who finds herself in a place of lacking that, Lord, I just pray that you would bring that friend into her life. And, Lord, in the meantime, would you do the work that only you can do, by opening her eyes and heart to see the things that might be obstacles to a friendship, that might be either attitudes or things that are just getting in the way of that true heart friendship.
And, father, I thank you that in your Son, Jesus Christ, you showed us a model of someone who does life with other people, that took the time to get to know people, that took the time to have meals with people and have these deep conversations.
Lord, I also just pray for the women who have these kinds of relationships in their lives. Would they be on the lookout for another friend that they might be able to pull into the fold? I get it, Lord, we’re all very busy. Into the fold. I get it, Lord, we’re all very busy, but, God, we know that your Word tells us that we are to lay aside those rights, those “freedoms,” if it gets in the way of us demonstrating a love for our neighbor.
So, God, again I thank you for Heidi. I thank you for just the friendship, the woman, the Godly woman that she is, the way she continues to humbly pursue you and the way she models Christ in our friendship and for the way she spurs me on, Lord, thank you for just all of the people that are listening, that they too might be spurred on to pursue you all the more. You know I had to say it one more time, Lord, we just love you and we pray all these things in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Announcer
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Read the corresponding blog post – Embracing More This Year