Little Man is a challenge. At two, he could drive me to need professional help. Honestly, the problem is that he is too smart. He has the vocabulary and understanding of a child twice his age. But the impulse control of a 15 month old. No lie.
In Colossians 3:21 it says:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.
Underneath that verse it should say:
…and [Little Man], do not exasperate your parents, that they may not lose heart.
A few days ago, I found myself telling him – in a not so calm manner – “Please just obey. I don’t want to discipline you anymore. I really hate having to do this. Can you please just obey so I can stop having to be consistent?”
It is interesting though that Little Man’s issues and Bubs’ issues are totally different. With Bubs’ Sensory Processing issues, I wasn’t exasperated as much as I was just lost. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to turn. I found myself in tears more than once begging God to give me my son back. I knew that Bubs was out of control and he didn’t know how to gain control back. I felt helpless to help my son.
Little Man is just curious, mischievous, a ball of perpetual motion, and 99% of the time – guilty. Everything needs to be manipulated and examined. Instead of going straight to the destination, he will go on, over, and through, touching everything within ten feet of the direct path. Absolutely everything is a distraction. Drives his Momma crazy!
I find the most frustrated factor is that these kids wear you down. Whether you are consistent or not…the spirited child is. Consistent at making over-the-top choices, that is. Doing those things that you have told them over and over and over not to do.
Little Man has never been able to touch Mommy’s piano. This has been a consistent rule in our home for all our kiddos. Even with discipline, Little Man will randomly touch the piano. As an electric piano, no sound occurs when he touches the keys. So, what is the draw? I am baffled.
Little Man has a thing for Mommy’s computer. Lots of buttons and the mouse is cool. Understandable. But seeing that he gets in trouble ever time he touches it, what is the draw? I am baffled.
Little Man doesn’t like to stay in his bed once placed there (although this is much better after five months). I have never seen a Daddy be more consistent. Discipline and lack of parental interaction, yet it is still a battle in our home. What is the draw? I am baffled.
This is where a frustrated Momma comes in. At what point does this toddler decide “Enough is enough. I am going to leave the _____ alone. I don’t want to be disciplined anymore.” I wish I knew.
In my immaturity, I would have labeled parents of spirited children as “inconsistent” or “they don’t discipline.” Now I see that this isn’t always the case.
Here’s what I have learned:
- When Little Man is in a whirlwind, I must stop the tornado. No matter what I am doing, I have to get him doing something. A change of pace, activity, and attention.
- When I am most frustrated, it probably means that I am trying to do something else. This may be making dinner, doing dishes, talking to Daddy, or on the phone. How can I reign him in so that I can finish what I need to do? Many times, I simply have him help me.
- Daily time with God is us utmost importance. In my most frustrating moments, my husband will ask me, “Did you spend time with God this morning?” It is amazing the difference my attitude has toward our Little Man.
- Consistency. In the heat of the moment, I feel like our discipline is not working. But as I think back through the last three months, I can see that Little Man has made much improvement on obedience.
