After reading Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years
First of all, before reading this book, toy clean up time was either amazing or horrible. Little Man either picked them all up – sometimes without being asked – or he dug in his heals and refused. What should have taken just a few minutes ended up being a 30 minutes discipline time. Yuck! I learned in the book to make a choice for him.
Mommy: Little Man do you want to pick up your toys or do you want Mommy to?
If he chooses to pick them up – great! If he chooses for Mommy to or doesn’t pick them up in the next minute, then I pick up everything and it becomes mine. But this is key – I don’t say a word about it. I then place it on the shelf where he can see it but yet not reach it, as a reminder.
This has made a HUGE difference. Now when I ask him to pick up his toys, Little Man hesitates. He thinks before he makes his choice. For me, my blood pressure remains the same no matter what he choices. In this case it is a delayed consequence because he will want to play with that toy later. This has also been good because Daddy knows what toys are playable and which ones are in time-out without us having to converse first.
How long do you keep the toys out of his little hand?? I am reading the book now and have two beautiful but one strong willed and one spirited daughters who are five? I can't tell you how much your blog has helped me. They both have SPD and other adoption/institutionalization issues.
Blessings,
Mama H
Mama H – Thank you so much for your comments. This is a great question and one that I feel depends on the child. Some children don't need a lot of reinforcement while others need more. For Little Man the toys stay put for about a week. That has worked very well once he is down to nothing left (as far as toys to play with). He has to lose a lot for this concept to work. Just taking one or two toys doesn't faze him. By the time he has lost all toys, he feels the impact.
After a good stretch of time of him picking up his toys, he started not wanting to again. So, we have started a collection. It will be interesting to see how many it takes this time!
Thanks for the question.