Train vs Discipline

Not long ago I was doing something (have no idea what…probably some mundane mom task) when the Holy Spirit threw a word at me. Literally it was like a softball hit me in the forehead.

Immediately this verse came to mind.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Then like a simple addition problem, the Holy Spirit put the two together for me.  “Train up a child…”. It does not say “Discipline a child….”  By training up a child according to how God created him, he will not depart from this training when he is old. 

I am not saying that discipline should be ignored because there are many verses about proper discipline.  Some verses that fly in the face of modern PC.  But this particular verse focuses on the importance of training. 

Now, I can’t get it out of my head.  Throughout the day, the Holy Spirit is continually bringing this thought to my head.  Have I trained my child for the issue at hand? 

Here is an example:

Bubs’ eating is atrocious.  It drives me crazy to watch or listen to him eat.  I spend mealtime barking at him and filling my frustrating rise to unhealthy levels.  Applying this concept, I wondered if I was having expectations that he truly didn’t know how to meet. 

So, with the aid of a plate of food and a fork, he and I sat down for a training session.  Bite after each bite, we broke down the process of proper eating. 

Want to know what I figured out?  The problem isn’t so much with his mouth as the problem is with the fork.  How much food is going on the fork?  Where is the food placed on the fork?  What is he doing with the fork after the bite? 

I am here to say…the training opened my eyes to the real problem and helped Bubs be successful.  No amount of discipline would have solved this problem.

With this in mind, I see that training must precede
discipline.  Whenever my frustration level is elevating, I can ask the four questions below.

• Does my child have the training to know exactly how to handle this situation? 
• Have I taken the time to specifically show the child what to do? 
• Am I expecting him or her to just know the correct option? 
• My child has had specific training on this issue.  Is this an act of disobedience which needs a punishment?

I praise God for this wisdom!