Finally, I get to sit down and write this blog. I am so excited to tell you what God is teaching me right now that I can barely stand myself. I seriously have thought how wonderful it would be to have a computer hooked to my brain so that all I had to do was think it, and it would type up the document. (Might be scary to see in writing some of the things that I think!) But since that contraption does not exist, here my fingers go!
God used three specific avenues this past week to help me get my head on straight. Combined, they all made a light bulb go on inside my head. I am excited for the wisdom that I have gained and am ready to move forward.
In the next few days, I am going to be diving deep into each of these three messages. I pray that each of them will impact your life was well!
But first, let me go back in time a little bit and help you understand the scene before these God-sends came into my life.
The past three months have been gross. Dirty, food-filled, dish-water gross.
Bubs was finishing up Kindergarten and I was super excited to start the summer. Huge plans of family activities, laughter, and fun.
Grossness started with two letters (not ABC’s) – one in email form and the other certified mail. One dealt with my website and this blog. The other dealt with our home and property. These letters have led to numerous phone calls, much stress, and a large hit financially to our family. Interestingly enough, both of these issues deal with government and my rights. (Thankfully one issue is almost resolved while the other one is still being fought.)
Amongst all this, I wrote and added the 2 Year Curriculum to ABCJLM. The response to this new curriculum has been overwhelming and exciting!
In Mommyhood, Little Man has been exhausting and Peanut is starting to get into everything. Add a seven year old who throws a fit at most request and you have a very tired Mommy.
In the past few blog posts, I have journaled about life being hard and stressful of late. (Thank you to those who left comments and sent me notes of encouragement.) The only relief that I felt was through my computer. In working on my websites, I could shut out the world and find accomplishment in a computer screen.
Understand that during these last few months I have played with my kids. We have done activities, played games, and lived life. It wasn’t like I was at the computer 95% of the time. The problem is that that is where I wanted to be. Because sitting at my desk meant I didn’t have to deal with the grossness of life. I didn’t have to break up one more argument or listen to “Mommy, so-and-so pushed me.” Frankly, at my desk, I could stop being Mommy and I could slip away to being “Internet Heidi.”
Wow…just writing that was eye opening.
See the problem is that I had lost the joy of my real life. The life as a wife and mommy to four blessings.
I realized that I have a drug problem. No, it isn’t meth or alcohol like you would think off. For me the drug was my internet life through this blog and ABCJLM. It was my way of escaping the reality of the day-to-day.
Oh there is so much more that I want to tell you. I hope that you will join me. I feel that the Holy Spirit has something to tell you too! See you tomorrow when I introduce you to Message #1