Some of the reason why my stress level is elevated has to do with our third blessing. This precious three year old is absolutely adorable. (There is a reason why God made him so cute.) But Little Man is trying every patient strand that I have left.
Here’s some background:
If you have followed this blog long, you know that Bubs (our eldest child) has been no picnic to raise. With Sensory Processing Disorder – six months in Speech Therapy and two intensive years in Occupational Therapy – there were many nights when I thought we would never see light at the end of the long dark tunnel. With my arms raised high, I praise God that we have learned how to help Bubs deal with the external factors bombarding him. While he still has trouble almost on a daily basis, the outburst are so much shorter and end with him evaluating what should have occurred.
On a totally different spectrum is Little Man. This blessing is as sharp as a tack (really too smart for his own age) and ornery as the day is long. I should have known when he crawled at five months that we were in for it! He has a strong will that would beat down the best child psychologist. He can quote back the books of the Bible and scripture better than most adults. He never forgets a name. Little Man can make me laugh until I cry and cry until I fall to sleep.
Back to the reason for this blog post.
Little Man is a tornado right now. Touching things that he knows not to touch. Flushing things down the toilet and pouring other liquids down the sink. He thinks that rules and commands don’t apply to him. These offenses are happening daily – and several times a day.
Frankly, he is wearing me out.
One of his teachers from church once said that he has “impulse control issues.” Sometimes I feel like he can’t help himself but must do ______(fill in the blank with whatever offense comes to mind). While I don’t really believe this, I do wonder.
We have been through this cycle of him “looking” for trouble before. One would think that each episode would get easier. But no…it gets more frustrating and exhausting.
Consistency…be direct…love…patience…don’t over talk…don’t react…
These are the words and phrases that I keep reminding myself.
We went out to eat with some friends a few nights ago. Quite frankly, I demonstrated some pretty poor parenting skills. I was worn out from the day and didn’t follow through with my words. I realize that tiredness isn’t an excuse but the fact was…I was tired.
Tired of telling him to stop, redirecting him, keeping him occupied…the list goes on. Training our Little Man is wearing me down.
I keep asking myself what it is going to take to get him to learn from the consequences. What is he going to have to lose or experience to make the activity not worth it?
I don’t know.
But I do know a few thing…God is going to use Little Man in an amazing way. Whenever I get lazy and feel that but-I-don’t-want-to attitude rising up, I remember that just like my children are to obey me as their parent, I am to obey God as my Father. God has told me to “train” him so that he is ready for whatever God has in store (Proverbs 22:6). For me to honestly say “I love my Little Man,” I must give him consistent discipline (Proverbs 13:24).
Praise God that I don’t have to do this alone.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5
Can I get an Amen?
Be consistent …. you already know that but I just wanted to encourage you. All you can do is be consistent. My third child is also energetic and pushes the boundaries on a daily, almost hourly basis. I sometimes wonder if she ever really hears what I'm saying, but her school teacher tells me she is a perfect angel between 9am and 3pm so something must be getting through. Just keep being consistent. God bless!
Wow, Amen! My two boys have gone (and are going through) seasons of this, but nothing like the marathon you're running with both of yours. Blessings on you as you run the race with faithfulness. Keep remembering, "Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." ALL your children are blessed to have a mama who is seeking the Lord. Someday they will rise up and call you blessed. In the meantime, hang in there!
Hang in there! My first born is a handful. She just wears me down. After 5 years of craziness, I am finally seeing SOME results (although she spent most of yesterday in some form of discipline!). Just wanted to encourage you to keep fighting the good fight!
A Huge Amen! Your son sounds quite a bit like my son; testing limits beyond what seems "normal", touching things and doing things he knows he shouldn't over and over. My son would also throw big tantrums over little things, like water on the outside of his sippy cup, or us making him pull his own pants on, etc. The way one friend explained it helps a lot "he's very passionate..he has very big feelings for a very little body." And God has entrusted us to help our son learn to channel his passion for great God-glorifying things! It's hard, but none of the best things comes easily, right? Hang in there, you're doing great, and if you ever need to vent feel free to send me an email or something.
Life On The Franco Farm says
Oh how I relate! Thank you for sharing this… don't grow weary in well-doing Momma C!
This sounds a lot like our eldest son and age makes a difference. He is almost five now and we have many, many fewer of these episodes. "alone time" is essential for him though, too many people and his impulse control flies out the window. We try for at least two hours of alone time every day and it makes all the difference…K