It Rears Its Ugly Head Yet Again

Here it is 6:15 Thursday morning and I don’t have a blog post written for today.  I typically have them written days if not weeks in advance.

Today…nothing.

But, I think God did this on purpose because He wanted me to share what is on my heart.  To give you another glimpse into our family.  And for some of you, to give us one more bond. 

So many of you have commented or emailed me concerning the Sensory Processing bond that we hold.  We have together lived the scary, confusing, exhausting life of having a child who can’t process what is going on around him/her. 


Well, the word “processing” has stomped back into our lives for the third time.

First time we saw this word was in sensory processing, then visual processing, and now auditory processing.  I sure hope there isn’t another  processing “something” out there because it could push me over the edge. 

It all started with Bubs’ traumatic first month of life.  (Read more about Our Story here.)  We lived at a children’s hospital while he underwent open heart surgery at six days old.   Thinking the end to the nightmare would come once we walked out of the hospital with a healed baby boy, we were thrilled when we were finally released to come home.  The prognosis was a normal life.

We never dreamed that the first month would so deeply affect his life – how he reacts, learns, sleeps, loves, eats, and I could go on and on. 

Before I sound absolutely ungrateful, let me explain.  The fact that my eight-year-old son can run and play and do what normal kids do is a huge testimony of answered prayer and God’s power.  While there are some concerns with his heart, he has no restrictions.  And as far as everyone else sees, he is a normal child.  It isn’t until they see the massive scar on his chest that they believe his scary start.  I praise and thank God for this. 

Unfortunately, his little brain can’t handle normal input. 

We just learned yesterday that he has severe delays in various parts of auditory processing (language, phonetics, etc.).  On one hand, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted just as I did when we learned about the sensory and visual processing issues.  But on the flip side, I am thrilled that we finally see what is causing the delays in his learning and why is he still struggling to read, write, and spell even after consistent, daily, focused work on it.

So, Bubs is back in therapy which means mommy is back in therapy which means our family of six is back in therapy.  I praise God that we have a therapist who will train me so that we can work daily at home to help bridge these processing gaps.  

As I type, I wonder what God is doing.  I want to scream at Him, “Don’t you think we have enough on our plate?”  I mean, what is He trying to teach me, our family, and Bubs.  The one thing that I keep coming back to is that God’s plan is bigger than mine.  Whatever the future holds is for His glory.

So, I pick myself up out of this pity-party knowing that God has plans for our family.  

Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

And on that, I can hold Bubs’ hand as we walk into the future trusting God’s character and His promises to us.  

What verse or point of God’s character do you cling to in times of uncertainty?