Last week I shared one of two areas where God is asking me to let Him perform heart surgery. The post was raw and ugly but I pray that it encouraged you to take a look at some dark crevices in your own life.
Issue number two came as a surprise to me. At first I denied it. But within a few minutes, I realized it was true.
My husband and I escaped away for a couple of days over Christmas break to refresh. What was supposed to be a fun and happy time, turned out to be a time of soul pondering and reflection. A lot of our time was spent talking about the past and where we want to go in the future. We talked on a personal level as well as the struggles our kids are facing.
While sitting at one of my favorite restaurants, I shared my vision for Challenge for Change that I would be introducing the beginning of the year to this blog. Without prompting my husband shared that I should do a study on contentment.
Contentment? Why? I am content….
But it didn’t take long for me to realize that I am not.
It should be no surprise the choices the thesaurus uses to replace word “contentment.”
peace ease satisfaction comfort happiness
If you are a friend of this blog you know that I struggle with the “why’s” of my life. Why is anxiety taking over Bubs‘ life? Why does Little Man continually disobey? Why can’t we play a simple board game without someone losing it? Why can’t I have a normal family who isn’t stuck in weekly therapy sessions? Why do I get so discouraged? Why can’t I love better? Why…? Why…? Why?
As I have pondered this word for the last few weeks, I realize this is the 2nd area that I am committing to the Lord for 2014. I want to have joy for the journey that God has given me.
And so I turn to Google for topical Bible verses to pray over. After reading hundreds of verses (literally), I came to an unlikely answer.
Philippians 1:6 – And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns. (Living Bible)
Why am I struggling to love the unlovable? Why am I struggling to be content where God has me?
Because God’s not done with me yet.
- GOD has begun a GOOD work in ME
- GOD will keep on….
- GOD will help me GROW
- I can grow in HIS GRACE
- GOD will help me with HIS TASK
- GOD will keep HELPING me until His task is COMPLETED
- One day Jesus is RETURNING
The fact that loving and contentment are heavy on my heart proves that God is doing a good work within me. These two issues wouldn’t cause an ach in my heart if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit helping me grow.
It’s time for me to pull up my big girl panties and open my heart for some massive reconstruction. For the Surgeon is waiting to begin. He is just waiting for me to sign the permission papers.
I want to look back on 2014 and remember it as a year of love and contentment. I am daily praying for these two areas. To help me remember this I have placed a notecard containing my verse and the two words above my kitchen sink. This way I am daily reminded to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in theses areas. When the notecard begins to blend into its surrounds, I will move it to a new place.
Love. Contentment. The two words on the notecard above my kitchen sink.
What is on your notecard?