If asked what the most beneficial tool in my parenting toolbox is, I would say – without any hesitation, “One-Liners.” Also called broken records, these pre-scripted, parenting quotes have been instrumental in training my children. And parents and teachers continue to echo my sentiments as they have also seen these short phrases transform their homes and classrooms.
Why Are One-Liners So Powerful?
One-liners are pre-scripted short phrases that remove emotions, provide a consistent answer, and eliminate fuel from potentially heated situation.
Let’s break down this sentence and look at some examples.
One-Liners are Pre-Scripted
One-liners are short phrases that you have in your back pocket to use at any time. The quotes remove the desperation to create a response on the fly! When tensions rise, quickly grab a one-liner to deescalate any situation.
Child: I don’t want to _______.
Parent: I am sorry that you feel that way.
Child: I’m not going to ______.
Parent: I am sorry that you feel that way.
Teen: Mom, I’m going to drop out of band/choir/basketball.
Parent: Wow…that is interesting. What made you come to this conclusion?
Teen: Because it is dumb.
Parent: What made you come to this conclusion?
One-Liners Remove Emotions
If you have parented for any amount of time, you’ve probably been told by a child that you’re an awful parent, your child hates you, or any other disrespectful comment. It can be tempting to respond with litany of all you have done for the child. But we all know that when situations are heightened, emotion-filled words do not calm or resolve tension.
One-liners validate the child’s feelings and words without adding adult-sized emotion to the conversation. Being pre-scripted means that you can speak without anger or frustration.
Child: I hate you.
Parent: Aren’t your glad I don’t believe that? (Or…That’s sad, because I love you.)
Child: I don’t love you.
Parent: Aren’t your glad I don’t believe that? (Or…That’s sad, because I love you.)
Child: Sitting on the floor playing with a sibling’s toy, knowing it is off limits.
Parent: Are you making a good choice or bad choice? (Or…This makes me sad. How are you going to fix this situation?)
One-Liners Provide a Consistent Answer
Having one-liners in your parenting toolbox allows an adult to be consistent in responses – no matter the emotion or drama produced by the child. It also places the issue back in the child’s hands as the adult consistently (without emotion) replies with the same one-liner over and over, just like a broken record.
Child: (Whining) I want a snack.
Parent: I’m happy to talk to you when you talk in your big boy voice.
Child: (Whining) But I’m so hungry.
Parent: I’m happy to talk to you when you talk in your big boy voice.
Parent: Tommy, please pick up your toys.
Child: Why?
Parent: Obey first. Discuss after.
Child: Why doesn’t Sally have to pick up her toys?
Parent: Obey first. Discuss after.
Teen: Can I go over to Joy’s house?
Parent: What chores do you have to finish?
Teen: All of them, but we have to study for the math test tonight.
Parent: You are welcome to go when your chores are done.
Teen: You never let me do what I want.
Parent: You are welcome to go when your chores are done.
One-Liners Remove Emotional Fuel
I am raising a lawyer. A really good one! Broken-records remove the fuel (words and emotion) from a potential argument allowing the fire to die out. Thus, the reason to argue is removed.
Parent: Please put your trains away.
Child: Then can I have a snack?
Parent: Please put your blocks away. (Or, obedience produces clarity.)
Child: Can I get a snack? I’m hungry.
Parent: Please put your blocks away. (Or, obedience produces clarity.)
Parent: Freddy, please give your sister a drink.
Child: I don’t want to.
Parent: I’m sorry that you feel that way.
Child: Why do I have to share with her?
Parent: I love you too much to argue.
Child: She didn’t share with me last time.
Parent: I love you too much to argue.
Free One-Liners Download
The hardest thing about one-liners is getting started using them. This is why I have created a fantastic printable to post in your home or classroom. Then choose one broken record to begin using in the current situation that you are dealing with and implement without anger or sarcasm as conversations arise. Slowly add more and more to your repertoire as you become confident.
You won’t believe how easy it is!
Need More Ideas?
- View the 3-Part Biblical Discipline Video Series
- Attend an upcoming ABCJesusLovesMe Parent and Teacher Conference
- Read Heidi’s favorite parenting books
