This is a question that I am very passionate about.
What is your opinion about sending kids to kindergarten who have summer birthdays (or those who are close to the cutoff date)?
As far as I know, every state has a cutoff birth date for children to begin kindergarten. The states I am familiar with place their cutoffs in August or September, but some wait until December.
For kiddos who don’t have a birth date close to the cutoff date the decision to begin kindergarten is not an issue. But for those who have birthdays near the cutoff, it may be hard to decide whether to send or “red-shirt” the child.
I am a firm believer that if you have ANY doubt about sending your child to kindergarten you need to wait and give the child another year to mature and grow. One more year for the child to be a child.
Even though academically they were ready, we red-shirted our oldest and Little Man as well. Because of their due dates, I knew before these boys were born that they would be six years old before entering kindergarten.
In telling our pediatrician this decision, she said:
I have never met a parent who regretted red-shirting his or her child.
I have met many who regretted sending their children.
Kindergarten Readiness Points to Consider:
- Just because the child is ready academically doesn’t mean that he or she is ready emotionally, physically, or socially.
- Very young children may require a nap or require more sleep at night as going to school all day can be exhausting.
- Waiting to start a child in kindergarten is much easier than having to retain (repeat a grade) the child the next year. Even at a young age, retaining a child can have lasting effects. Effects that may not show up until later in teenage and adult life.
- The child may not show signs of struggling socially or academically until he or she is older (past Kindergarten and 1st grade when it is harder to retain).
- Paying for one more year of preschool or daycare is much cheaper than paying for tutoring and/or watching your child struggle through school.
- “But my child will be bored.” – I believe truly gifted child do not get bored as their brains are always learning. Don’t tell your child or let him hear you mention potential boredom. If he hears you telling everyone he is bored, he will be bored.
- “But my child is gifted!” – As I stated, we red-shirted both Bubs and Little Man. Everyone was supportive of giving Bubs another year because of the delays he had due to open heart surgery at birth. But we took a lot of flak for red-shirting Little Man since he was very advanced for a five-year-old. We held strong to our conviction knowing that while he would be academically beyond his peers, his maturity was delayed. And, we haven’t regretted the decision for one moment.
- Keeping up with or competing with children who are nearly a year older can be frustrating for the younger child. Waiting a year could mean the child will be more successful academically, athletically, musically, etc. by the time they are in high school. This has definitely been our experience.
- “My child will be the tallest and biggest in his/her class.” – Bubs was the tallest in his class. Sweet Pea was the tallest in the elementary school for several years. They thought it was cool because they knew that in a few years this would change as kiddos go through growth spurts at different times.
- “All of my child’s friends are going to Kindergarten.” – This is a statement that continue to hear and one we personally experienced. At church, all of the Bub’s peers moved up to the next class while he stayed in the same class. It was tough for a few hours, but he very quickly made new friends. Actually, one of the younger boys that moved on repeated Kindergarten, so Bubs was in the same class with him the following year.
- “But my child thinks he/she is going to kindergarten.” – Bubs was frequently asked by adults about kindergarten. He learned to say that Mommy and Daddy are waiting another year. It truly wasn’t an issue because we talked about it with him.
- “But my child is already enrolled?” – This is a tough one but sometimes mommies and daddies change their minds. But I know of elementary schools that say at orientation (the day before school), “If you have any doubts, now is the time to change your plans. And we will look forward to seeing you next year.” A school would rather have a child who is truly ready than a child who will struggle because of their age.
Advice from a 1st Grade Teacher
My aunt taught first grade for 39 years. When asked about this she encouraged me to highly recommend parents wait to start a child (especially a boy) in school if his/her birthday is within a few months of the cutoff date.
She personally experienced the ramifications of being sent too early to school. Looking back, many of the struggles she experienced could have been avoided had she started school at an older age.
In her vast career, she also observed that many children would have been happier in their education experience if their parents had not sent them to school at such a young age.
The Magic Formula for Kindergarten Readiness
There is not a magic formula to help you make this decision. It truly is a personal decision that needs to be made for the individual child. And there are exceptions to every “rule.”
But if a momma asks me this question, I’d ask her…
Do you want to start your child a step ahead or a step behind?
Also read…
Behavior Readiness
Academic Readiness
Books to Read to a Child to Prepare for Kindergarten
Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed in this post are my own and do not apply to all children. Please seek the advice of a professional for your specific situation.
Aunt C says
Good job Momma C! You gave lots of good advice to parents.
LaToya says
I love this. I was talking with a mommy friend about this regarding her son. She is very concerned about him being socially ready for kindergarten as am I with mine two boys. In our state the compulsory school age is 6 so I told her not to worry. But on the other hand there aren't any daycares in the area that will take a 5 year old, so she's struggling a little with that.
Anonymous says
I was one of those kids that had to repeat kindergarten because I was very young and wasn't ready for first grade. I remember, even at that very young age, feeling embarrassed because my friends that went on to first grade thought I had "failed" kindergarten. It wasn't until later in elementary school that I understood what it meant to be held back by my parents rather than failing.
I sent my oldest daughter to school when she was 5 but she had JUST had a birthday. She did well all through elementary school academically and even socially. The mistake has caught up to us now, however, in Middle School. So think beyond the elementary school years! Again, academically she is doing fine but socially and emotionally, she is very immature compared to the other girls in her grade. As if middle school isn't hard enough, she has delt with added issues caused by her immaturity which has compounded some of the middle school girl drama!
I did make the same mistake twice and held back sending my son to kindergarten until he was 6! It has been wonderful! His teachers have complimented every year about his responsibility, his attentiveness in class, and his organizational skills. Also, because he was learning things a little quicker than most kids in his class, he was placed in accelerated classes (yes, they have those in MANY elementary schools now! Sometimes those classes are called by other names like talent pool or gifted.) and works with another teacher several times a week in reading, math, and science.
Holding my son back has caused him to have a VERY positive elementary school experience and I do not regret it at all!
Gina DeBruler
Kentucky
Anonymous says
I'm interested to more about emotional and behavioral readiness. I hear this all the time but I'm not sure I know how to evaluate it. My little guy has a June birthday, so I'm in this boat, too!
ABCJLM says
Great question! When I think of emotional and behavioral readiness I look at the maturity of the child. Does the child still take occasional naps? Can the child sit still and quiet by himself for a time? Can the child begin and see to completion a small project? Can the child share and get along with peers? Is the child able to get ready in the mornings unassisted? Can the child eat lunch without assistance?
Of course on answering all of these questions you look for age appropriateness.
I don't know you nor your son but I can say from experience, I have no regrets and I have never met a parent who regretted the decision. I know so, so many who sent their child and wished they would not have. If you have any doubt at all, I can't encourage you enough to give him an extra year.
–heidi
Anonymous says
Do you think a child should demonstrate these types of behaviors even if homeschooled (Kinder day around 2 hrs or less)?