I have been blessed many times over in my life with wonderful girlfriends. Currently I have two sweet Sisters-in-Christ who are nothing short of angels. I have even asked them a couple of times – are you really a person or just posing as a person because God knows that Momma C needs you! These are girls that pray for me, encourage me, and love me enough to be honest when I am being stupid!
In the book Captivating
There is no way your husband or your children can ever provide the intimacy and relational satisfaction you need. A woman must have women friends.
I couldn’t agree more. Thus, I wanted to take a moment to pass along some of their thoughts and some of mine on the subject.
It is my girlfriends that I call up or email when my heart is broken, when I am confused, when I am tired. It is also my girlfriends that I run to when I am thrilled, excited, and filled with joy. Yes, I can go to my husband – and I do – but there are things that my husband can’t understand in the way that my girlfriends do because he is a man. God created him different.
But, this is very important…
Friendships need to be nurtured and guarded and fought for. We need to call one another without waiting to be called first. We need to ask how our friends are doing and really listen to their answers. Listen between the lines. We love our friends by pursuing them.
I think this is where we miss the mark. It takes time to work on a friendship. Time that we sometimes feel we don’t have. But time that we must make. We can not be the woman, the Mom, the wife that we need to be without girlfriends. Those girls who will call us out on the rug when we need it and encourage us when we are down.
There are three levels of friends according to the Eldredge couple – intimate, dear friends, and acquaintances. The intimate friends are those close two or three girls that you tell everything to. The ones that you want by your side when things happen – both good and bad. The dear-friends group is a larger one. They are the ones that you hang with but don’t call in the middle of the night. Then there are acquaintances – those people that you know and say hi in passing. These circles will change and people will move between the circles as your life changes. New people will come and old friends will leave.
I have seen people who never move to the close or intimate circle with friends. They keep everyone at arms length – as acquaintances. Or maybe they have close friends but they never become intimate and real with them – thus moving them to the next circle. Whether it is time, fear, or not understanding how to be a friend, they miss out on a huge blessing from God.
Friendship can be hard and you must work at it. You can not have a close friendship with someone that you call every 4 months and never get past the “how-are-you-fine” conversations.
Do you have these three circles of friends? If so, what are you doing to keep these friendship going?
If you don’t have an intimate group of friends, ask yourself if you are being a friend and pray about it. “Ask God to bring it [friends] into your life, [and to] give you eyes to recognize it when He does.” Be ready to be blessed!
