How to Train a Child to Sleep In

After reading 7 Gentle Tips to Help with Early Risers, Shelley asked:

“How do you actually train a child to stay in their room until you come get them? My 3-year-old comes into our bed every morning between 4 and 5 a.m. and goes back to sleep. I know he needs more sleep, but I also need my morning quiet time. Help!”

If this sounds familiar, let me encourage you—it can be done. But like most parenting changes, it takes consistency and patience.

So far, we have discussed steps 1 and 2 in removing the bedtime battles.

1. Start with a solid bedtime routine
2. Set clear expectations for nighttime waking
3. Then provide morning sleep training

Let’s walk through Step #3.

Read this episode’s transcript.

Step 1:  Introduce the Child to the Visual Clue

Choose a calm day to introduce the wake-up light or clock (ad) — ideally when your schedule is more open, and you can be consistent for several days. Make it a special moment! Wrap the clock and present it as a “big kid” gift to help your child feel proud and excited.

Say something like this in a cheerful tone:

“Henry, you’re growing up so much, and I’m really proud of you! Because you’re becoming a big boy, it’s time for a big boy gift. This special light (or clock) will help you know when it’s okay to come out of your room in the morning. Let me show you how it works…”
(Then walk through how the light turns off or the clock shows the number 7 when it’s time to get up.)

Continue with an explanation your child can understand:

“This morning, you came into Mommy and Daddy’s room really early, and I didn’t get my quiet time with God. That time is really important for Mommy to read her Bible and pray. But now that you have this big boy light, it will help you know when it’s time to sleep or play quietly—and when it’s okay to come out of your room.”

Give clear and calm expectations:

“If you wake up before the light turns off (or the clock says ‘7’), you can do one of three things:

1. Go back to sleep
2. Sit quietly and play with your [soft toy or quiet activity]
3. Look at your books

If you need to go to the bathroom, quietly go and then come right back to your room.”

Set a firm but loving boundary:

“If you leave your room before the light turns off, Mommy will take your hand and walk you back. Remember, this is Mommy’s time to be with God, and that’s really important. I want you to respect that special time.”

Ask:

“Do you have any questions?” (Answer any questions.)

Then it’s time to practice!

Set the timer on the light or clock for 1–2 minutes. Give your child a quiet toy or book, leave the room, and wait for the light to change. When your child comes to find you after the light turns off, celebrate with praise, hugs, and encouraging words. Then, repeat the practice a few times, gradually increasing the wait time. Build excitement for using the clock that night at bedtime.

Step 2:  Talk About It at Bedtime

Remind your child what to expect in the morning. Keep it short and positive. Reinforce that staying in their room helps Mom have quiet time with God—and that’s important!

Step 3:  The First Morning

Be ready for various responses:

Angel Child:  This child will not move until the light turns off or the clock says “7.”  Right at 7:00, greet this child with a huge hug and praise for obedience.

Textbook Child:  This child will forget the new expectations or may test to make sure the boundaries are firm.  As soon as the child has left his room prematurely, walk them back without talking. 

Spirited Child:  I wish that I had an easy answer.  These kiddos will push just to see if the boundary will be firm. Hard – but not impossible.  Do exactly as I have suggested with the Textbook Child except know that you will have many, many times where she pushes the boundaries.  Be consistent and do not give in.  Yielding once will lead to even longer struggles.  If possible, include your husband for reinforcement.  A behavior chart may help as it promotes positive behavior.

The key is to treat the early morning risings just as you would middle of the night awakenings. 

Step 4:  Each Morning After

This is the hard part—but it’s also where the real training happens. Enjoy the bedtime routine with your child at night, then celebrate the successes or stay firm in the training process.

Just remember not to waver halfway through as inconsistency will mean more work in the end. It won’t be easy—but it won’t last forever. And the result? Restful sleep, peaceful mornings, and quiet time with the Lord. That’s worth everything.