This is the final excerpt of Kari’s story. Read Day #1 here.
We left the neurologist’s building and I called my husband. I told him “it’s official, he has Autism”. I cried as I held the sweet little hand of my precious boy as we walked to the car. When I got into the driver seat, the tears were gone. I was ready to help our son.
Now, before you think “wow, you are so strong, I could never be that way”, you need to understand something. I am not strong. I am very weak. God, on the other hand, is incredibly strong. Without Him, I would have crumbled into a useless puddle in the parking lot. Without Him, I couldn’t have done any of this. He is my strength. If you don’t have that strength, I would love to talk to you. Please feel free to email me or Momma C. We would love to share the hope we have.
Our younger son, E, was 3 months old and diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and some developmental delays. He also had reflux and was showing signs of food allergies. So, we have been in multiple therapies for nearly as long as our younger son has been alive. He started at 3 months old and is now 27 months old.
We are now more gentle with ourselves. We only do what we can truly do and don’t stress over not being able to do more. Our home will never be spotless, we will never be able to just relax all day in our jammies watching movies, and we won’t have pictures every month of our children’s lives because they can’t handle it. They just can’t. And, after a lot of soul searching, praying, crying, and talking to God, we are OK with this. This is how our family is.
I have joined an online ASD support group that allows me to bounce ideas off of other parents and to give support to others. I found this helps me, when I lend an ear to another person. I am also a part of a local support group for children with special needs that meets once a month. That gives me an outlet and a way to share local supports and resources we have. I also write a few blogs. This is my personal way of journaling my thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
I have changed a lot over the last 4 ½ years, most of that happening in the last 2 years. I am not the person I was just 27 months ago. I am an advocate. I know more medical information than any mother should have to know. I am a wife, a Mom, and a friend. But even those roles have changed as I have grown. I also have changed as a Christian. I have a deeper appreciation for God, for His love for us, for His view of us, and for His perfect creation in our children. I see our sons as perfect. God has a purpose for them. He can use the challenges they are facing to help them be mighty men of God that can make an impact on this world no one else could. We are just blessed enough to get to have a hand in that process.
We have our thoughts and opinions on why our sons have these various issues. We have changed a lot of things about their lives, our home, and our environment. We educate others that desire to hear our story. But, at the end of the day, when my 4 year old smiles and hugs my neck, or my 2 year old kisses my cheek, I am just a woman saying goodnight to her sweet little boys, making sure to tuck the blanket all the way up to “I’s” neck and checking to make sure “E” has all 3 of his blankets, satin side down, with his sheet and comforter on top of them. I am just doing what my sons need me to do. It’s what any parent would do; it’s what we all do. I am the blessed one. I am the one that gets to love them for the rest of my life. My life is richer for God bringing them into it.
Thank you Kari for being willing to share your story with others for God’s Glory.
Momma C, thank you for allowing me to share. It's very therapeutic to share your own story. For anyone that read it, I suggest writing your story down. Do it on paper, in a formal journal, in just an email to yourself, or in blog form. It's good for the soul to get that all out and it's great for your kids to have down the line when they are older and really want to understand what happened in their family from before they were born until current day.
I am sorry I have been MIA in commenting lately. I have been skimming a little, but things went haywire here with some unexpected new medical concerns with our younger son. We are doing some chromosomal testing today and then get to wait through the long 8 weeks until they come back.
Kari – Thank you so much for sharing. I love the suggestion of writing it down.
Please do let us know how things go with the testing. We will lift you up in prayer!
What a beautiful testimony to God's grace in your life. Thank you for sharing it.