Last Tuesday, I asked the questions:
Is there something that I am doing to encourage his bad choices?
Are there holes in the boundaries that I have set up?
I continue to seek answers because I believe that children can only behave as well as the boundaries that surround them. And boundaries look different for every child.
My boundaries are set…but are their holes in the fence? Is there something that my children have learned to do to help them “get their way?” Are their times in my day that there are more holes than others? These are all questions that I continue to ask myself and those closest to me. This is something that I am also asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to me.
Here are some examples of holes that I thought of.
- When I am busy – making a meal, on the phone, etc – I have a short fuse and use anger to discipline.
- I get tired sometimes and don’t want to discipline and follow through.
- I don’t want to deal with a fit so I don’t make an issue out of something.
- I just want to sleep so I am going to let Freddy lay in my bed with me.
- I make excuses for my child. (i.e. Freddy is tired. Freddy is hungry. Freddy is three. Freddy is shy.)
- I talk too much. (more on this in a coming blog)
Holes in discipline. Some are very small holes because they don’t happen as much. Others are bolder size allowing even bigger problems to develop. But a hole of any size confuses a child and causes bigger discipline issues.
What are your holes?