According to my Advanced Comp teacher, I can’t do it. According to the worlds standards, I can’t do it. And, I agree. I can’t write. The paper above looks clean compared to assignments that I turned it. I was sure that my teachers used entire red pens on just my essays.
Fast forward fifteen years. I feel God nudging to start a blog. A blog to encourage moms, especially those with challenging children.
What? God, didn’t you get the memo from the world that says:
“Heidi can’t write. Please keep this in mind before making future requests of her.”
It has now been 3 1/2 years since God started OurOutofSyncLife. And I still struggle with the voice in my head saying, “You can’t write and everyone knows it.” Many times I have thought about asking someone to polish up my posts in order to rid the grammar and wording errors. Or, I have debated on whether to throw the towel in on the whole thing.
This morning God spoke to me in a very strong way. Almost writing-on-the-wall kind of speaking. My devotional instructed me to read Exodus 2-4. These chapters talk about the birth, childhood, and teenage years of Moses. In just a moment, he goes from the Pharaoh’s pampered son to being on Pharaoh’s hit list and managing sheep. Talk about a downgrade!
Then one day God shows up in a burning bush instructing Moses to ask Pharaoh to release the Israelites. After much complaining and questioning, Moses says:
10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
14 Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth”
In a nutshell, Moses says, “I don’t have what it takes.” God says, “Didn’t I create you? I will help you in this.” Moses replies, “With all respect, but God, You are wrong.” God, with great anger, says, “Fine. I will use your brother.”
Moses blew it. I mean, he really messed up. He had an opportunity to be used in a great way and he chickened out.
I wrote in my journal this morning:
You asked Moses to talk and he said he was not eloquent. You have asked me to write even though my grammar and wording are poor. But You say “Who has made Heidi’s mouth and mind? Is it not I, the Lord? Go, and I , even I, will be with your mouth and mind, and teach you what to write.“
Doesn’t get much plainer than that!
Sometimes God asks us to do things that don’t come naturally. That way we can know without a doubt where the praise lies.
2 Corinthians 12:9 – My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.