Why Can’t I?: Living with ADHD

image source by Leeroy

This is a post that I wrote January 2012.  I share it again for those of you living with a spirited child or a child with ADHD.  It is hard.  But know you are not alone.

In the past few weeks, I have visited a few homes for playdates and the holidays.  Many of these homes have children around our kiddos’ ages – early elementary, preschool, and toddlers. But there is a major difference between their homes and ours.

You might think that it is the size, cleanliness, or decor of each home. While these may differ, the glaring difference to me is where things are placed. I noticed in all of these homes that stuff is “out.” By “out” I mean that crayons are at child level and books are out on the coffee table.  Toys are in bins and children’s rooms look like children’s rooms filled with toys and activities.

I have almost nothing out. As much as possible, things are placed high, in cabinets, or in locked closets. We have an easel without pencils and soap dispensers without soap.

Since we have a one year old you may think that Peanut is the reason for this. But, no Peanut does very well with boundaries.  Actually, it is Little Man, our 3 1/2 year old who causes us to keep everything out of sight.

Little Man has virtually no impulse control. My knives are above the refrigerator. His closet door is always locked.
His room is stripped to the appearance of a jail cell.

If he finds a pencil, he will write.
If he finds soap in a dispenser, he will add water to make bubbles.
If he find scissors, he will cut. If he finds books, he will rip.

As I look around these homes, I feel bitterness creep in. Why can’t I have a craft cart? Why can’t I leave “pretties” out? Why can’t I leave shampoo on the tub walls? I feel defeated.

When I hear a parent vent about what their child did that was “so terrible,” I want to lay on the floor and cry “It’s not fair!” because their so terrible recount would be a fantastic day in our home. 

For those who have never lived with a “Little Man,” understand that this
is more than a discipline issue.  What we are dealing with is not a
strong will.  This is more.  So much more.  

I realize that the enemy uses these feelings to defeat me. He wants me to stop training Little Man. He wants me to give up.  Throw in the towel.  Label him a lost cause. 

But by the power of the Holy Spirit, I will not. I will keep fighting. I will keep training. I will get up one more time to steer my little ship in the right direction because God has big plans for this little boy. God gave Little Man to me because He knew I needed him and Little Man needed me. And God has given me everything that I need to raise Him. 

There are huge blessings to being Little Man’s momma.  Not every mom can boast that their two years old could say the entire books of the New Testament with crystal clear pronunciation.  How many mommas can say that their 3 years old can write his name and ride a bike without training wheels.  Not every mom can be the mom of a boy who is loved and amazed by all who are around him.  Not every mom can have a boy who loves on her with undying affection even after several moments of discipline.  I have been given a gift. 

So, I will pull up my big-girl panties and keep going. I will not be defeated. Little Man needs me and I am not alone in this journey.

Three and a half years later, I would love to say that Little Man has grown out of this mayhem but I can’t.  What I can share is that he has come a long way.  While there are still many discouraging days., there are also a lot of very rewarding ones.  And God is showing me that I don’t have what it takes but He will work through me to know exactly what Little Man needs at exactly the right time.  To God be the glory. 

Read more about our journey with Little Man.