Mama, can we sit together for a moment? Feel free to bring your coffee.
When my kids were little, I would constantly count them—“one, two, three, four.” I knew where they were, what they were doing, and I felt like I could keep them safe.
But then they grew up.
Now they’re leaving early for activities, heading to work, going off to college—and suddenly, I can’t keep track of everything anymore. And if I’m honest? Letting go of fear in parenting has been one of the hardest parts for me.
Read the transcript for this episode.
When Fear Starts Driving Your Parenting
Here’s what I had to recognize: I wasn’t just being protective… I was parenting from fear.
Now, fear itself isn’t wrong. Of course we want to protect our kids. But where it became a problem for me was believing that if I did everything right, I could control the outcome. That I could somehow guarantee their faith, their choices, and their future. But that belief? It was a lie.
Our kids are not robots. They are real people with real choices—free will that we cannot control. It was a turning point for me when I realized control is an illusion. My children were never mine to control.
They were always His.
Not only can I not control their choices… but some of the things I desperately want to protect them from? God may actually use those things to draw them closer to Him.
Letting Go as they Grow
Parenting changes as our kids grow—and it’s supposed to. When they’re little, we lead closely. But over time, we begin to slowly hand them more responsibility. I think of it like a baton pass—not sudden, but gradual.
We go from:
- directing → to guiding
- correcting → to encouraging
- managing → to trusting
And yes… oftentimes that means watching them make mistakes.
Your Purpose is Bigger than Being Needed
This was a hard but freeing truth for me: My purpose is not found in how much my kids need me.
As our kids grow, they should need us differently. And if we’re not careful, that shift can make us feel a little lost. But our purpose was never meant to be:
- needed every moment
- fixing every problem
- holding everything together
Our ultimate purpose is to glorify God, love others, and walk in obedience. Motherhood is a part of that calling—but it’s not the whole thing. And when we understand that, it actually becomes easier to release fear and loosen our grip.
When Fear Creeps Back In
Let’s be honest—fear doesn’t just disappear when they get older. In fact, sometimes it gets louder. The stakes feel higher. The consequences feel bigger. But this truth grounds me every time: “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
When fear starts to take over, that’s my cue to pause and ask: Am I trusting God… or trying to control the outcome? My kids don’t need me to control their lives. They need me to walk alongside them. They need me to be a safe place. They need me to be a steady voice, a prayer warrior, and an encourager.
Because I am not their savior. My job is to point them to the One who is.
Choosing Faith over Fear
Letting go of fear doesn’t mean we stop caring. It doesn’t mean we stop guiding or setting boundaries.
It means we:
- Parent in obedience, not fear
- Trust God with what we cannot control
- Release the outcomes to Him
Because, mama…. God loves your children even more than you do. And we can rest in that.
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