So Much To Tell You: Message #1

Yesterday I handed you the key to my journal. I gave you full access to a gross truth of my life. If you missed yesterday’s post, please go back and read to understand the background for Message #1.

Message #1 was found in a Facebook post and in Kevin Leman’s new book It’s Your Kid Not a Gerbil. Hopefully you read my review about this book and also entered yourself in the drawing to win a free copy. If not, be sure to head over to this post.

Well, I wasn’t kidding when I said this book has changed my life. While reading this book, I could hear the Holy Spirit saying, “Listen up. This is for you.” over and over again. I was reminded time and time again that I get one chance to love on my kiddos. With one already in school, I see how incredibly fast time flies. It won’t be long before they are all in school and no longer begging mommy to play catch or Go Fish with them. While my mind knew this and my heart desired to seize the moment, I couldn’t get my emotions to cooperate. I realized that I was dealing with a bigger issue than just what was on the surface.

Read a passage from Kevin Leman’s book with me:

What’s your first thought when you get up in the morning? Do you say, “Wow, I can’t wait to get going with my day. So many exciting things are happening!” Or do you groan, roll over and hit the snooze button on your alarm…for the third time?

So many parents are living in burnout mode. They’re exhausted critters, just like that gerbil on the wheel, running from place to place, from priority to priority, and by the time they land at home, there’s little reserve left to give their families.

While on my “mommy drug” (as I will call it), I deeply desired to spend time with my kids. But the times weren’t fun. It hit me that I am “in burnout mode.” I wished the morning away until nap time; wished the afternoon away until bedtime, only to wake up the next morning and do it all again.

Two Monday’s ago, I woke up to find God’s message on Facebook (of all places.) A friend of mine on Facebook posted this as her status.

It’s Monday again. Another week to make a difference!

Talk about hit me like a charging elephant! My attitude was “Great. Another week (sigh). I wonder what Little Man will do this week to find trouble. Survival mode, here I come!” Make a difference? Seriously?? I mean, I am a stay-at-home mom for Pete’s sake.

But the Holy Spirit, through this book and the post, said, “Those are lies of the enemy. You have been given a gift. Don’t throw it away for a unsatisfying replacement.”

I realized then and there that I had a problem. Something in my emotions was out of whack. I saw the green pasture on the other side but I wasn’t sure what was holding me back from walking over. Leaving my mommy drug and moving to the feet of my Savior.

---