Last Tuesday, I asked the questions:
Is there something that I am doing to encourage his bad choices?
Are there holes in the boundaries that I have set up?
I continue to seek answers because I believe that children can only behave as well as the boundaries that surround them. And boundaries look different for every child.
My boundaries are set…but are their holes in the fence? Is there something that my children have learned to do to help them “get their way?” Are their times in my day that there are more holes than others? These are all questions that I continue to ask myself and those closest to me. This is something that I am also asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to me.
Here are some examples of holes that I thought of.
- When I am busy – making a meal, on the phone, etc – I have a short fuse and use anger to discipline.
- I get tired sometimes and don’t want to discipline and follow through.
- I don’t want to deal with a fit so I don’t make an issue out of something.
- I just want to sleep so I am going to let Freddy lay in my bed with me.
- I make excuses for my child. (i.e. Freddy is tired. Freddy is hungry. Freddy is three. Freddy is shy.)
- I talk too much. (more on this in a coming blog)
Holes in discipline. Some are very small holes because they don’t happen as much. Others are bolder size allowing even bigger problems to develop. But a hole of any size confuses a child and causes bigger discipline issues.
What are your holes?
Melissa Winston says
Hello! I just found your blog today as I was looking for some good materials to use for my 5 and 4 year old boys. They've been to preschool in the past, but now I am staying home with them. I'm not a "natural" at this whole preschool mom thing (not a fan of crafts, cheezy kid songs, etc.), but I want to be what my kids need me to be! Found the abcjesuslovesme.com website and loved the materials! This is my struggle, though…what kind of daily schedule do you use – balancing fun playtime with teaching/learning/activity times, etc. I know I need to reinstitute more structure into our days (used to be great at this, but went back to work for a season and haven't picked up the ball yet since being back home), and I feel a little stuck in developing a good schedule again. Any suggestions or direction to resources? I would appreciate it!
Thanks for your ministry and sharing with other moms! 🙂