Bubs had a really rough weekend. It was a roller coaster of emotions with him happy at one moment and screaming fit for the next.
As I have stated before, Bubs is a very sweet little boy. His “fits” are so few and far between now that when they hit it totally takes me by surprise.
I have had others ask me what I mean by “fit”. Good question. I will try to explain.
First of all, Bubs is a normal five year old boy. He disobeys and makes bad choices sometimes. He is not perfect and is learning through mistakes. I expect this. That is not what I am taking about though. When Bubs is having a rough patch, he does things uncharacteristic of himself. Things that we have worked through that he no longer does such as slam doors, throw things, kick and scream, cry for long periods of time. During these times, he is an emotional rollercoaster. There is absolutely no chance to reason with him or talk him out of it. He has to work through it.
It used to be that these fits would last hours. Now, they typically last 15 minutes. After his third one on Saturday morning, I went into his room. He had calmed down and was ready for me to help him. He was sitting on his bed and with tears in his eyes and said “Mommy, I am so sorry.” I immediately pulled him into my arms and told him that I love him. That there is nothing that he can do to change this. I asked him why he was having trouble. He just cried saying “I don’t know.”
It’s true. He has no idea. He truly doesn’t want to act like this. He doesn’t want to have a fit. They scare him. He is out of control.
It breaks my heart as I hold my scared little boy. He kept saying “I want to stay right beside you, Mommy.”
I sit here typing in wonder. I have to help him get out of these fits… I can’t get discouraged. I can’t get mad. I have to teach him ways to stay in control.
My children seem to have rare fits when they are: rest-broken, over-sugared, under-nourished
There have been some rare times when our schedule got a little off and caused us to be a bit off balance for a brief period.
They don't usually last long and rarely recur, but they happen.
One great thing is that the kids are more aware of this type of thing now and they do what they have to prevent it — primarily, they stay away from white sugar. We don't eat candy, and rarely have sweets in the house – we eat fruit. We drink water and soy milk and stay away from other drinks. We also try to be sure our meals are balanced and well-spaced throughout the day.
We're not perfect, but these things really help, along with a good nights sleep.
I know how that goes! It always hits me really hard, when I feel like he's made a lot of progress, and then he has a day like that. Although, I have learned that those days keep me on my toes, help me to do my best for him, and remind me that God is really the one who changes people and orders our days. It's easy to feel that we've let them down, but you have to keep things in perspective. Look at how far he's come, and just think about how much progress he'll have made in another few months or a year. One bad (ok,horribly awful) day here and there doesn't mean they're not learning self-control. It just reminds me that it's a slow process. That love needs to be patient and kind. Times like that keep us from being arrogant thinking that we/they have got it all figured out due to some effort of our own. It gives us practice in not being irritable or resentful. Remember, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. If these phases help our kids learn that our love, and God's love for them, never ends, these trials we/they face at times are well worth the end result.
Thank you ladies for your encouraging words!