Unwrapping Joy: Choosing Contentment over Comparison

How easy it is to get wrapped up in the holiday comparisons.  I struggle every year.  

My house isn’t beautiful enough.  Did you see her tree?
The gifts I’ve chosen won’t be what people want. They will think I don’t listen to them well enough to know what they want and like.
Other families have better traditions than we do.  They consistently do Advent activities every evening.
That family has more fun together. We have to continually discipline, monitor, and redirect.

What a trap we can fall into listening to the lies that desire to snare us. Is there any hope of breaking the cycle of discontent?

Choosing Contentment by Taking Every Thought Captive In Obedience to Christ

For the last few months, I have been asking God to teach me how to “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5). I dwell on situations, discontentment, unkind words, and hurt for way too long. I want to be able to put a stop to the negative thought cycle of comparison. What does this look like on a practical level? God provided comfort and wisdom leading to contentment in the commands and promises of Philippians 4. 

Commands of Philippians 4:

• Rejoice (v. 4).
• Be gentle (v. 5).
• Do not be anxious (v. 6).
• Present your request to God with thanksgiving (v. 6).
• Think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy (v.8).

Mixed amongst these commands are promises:

• The Lord is near (v. 5).
• Peace of God will guard your hearts and minds (v. 7).
• The God of peace will be with you (v. 9).

A few verses down, Paul says:
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (vv. 12-13).

Paul had lived in dire need, and in abundance. He learned to find his contentment in Christ regardless of his circumstances. Like Paul, Christ invites us to find our peace and strength in him when we feel the pressure to compare. 

Learning to Be Content

Let’s get practical and learn how to take every thought captive together. 

Scenario 1: Contentment in the Gifts God has Generously Given 
I attend a friend’s Christmas party to be greeted with an Instagram-worthy home adorned with Joanna Gaines-approved decor. Instead of comparing the beauty of my house to my friend’s, I can take my thoughts captive and rejoice in my friend’s God-given talent on display. I can have peace that while design is not my gift, God has gifted me in other ways. It takes the body of Christ working together through each of our giftings to further the Kingdom. He uses all gifts for his glory! Through Christ’s strength, we can be content and rejoice in what we have been given.

Scenario 2: Contentment in My Human Limits
When I worry about the adequacy of the gifts I have prepared under the tree, I can choose not to take responsibility for how others respond. Though I may speculate, only God truly knows other people’s thoughts or perceptions. Instead, I can take my thoughts captive and focus on the truth that I did the best I could at finding a gift and release the anxiety I feel. Through Christ’s strength, I can be content remembering who I am and who I belong to. 

Scenario 3: Contentment in the Finished Work of Christ for Salvation 
I find myself lamenting that our family traditions do not measure up in comparison to others. However, when I take this thought captive and analyze it based on truth, I realize that this anxiety stems from thoughts that I won’t do enough to point my children to Christ during the Advent season. In actuality, the 25 days of Christmas only amount to 6.8% of the year. Pointing my children to Christ is a daily, monthly, and yearly process. More importantly, I don’t own, nor can I control my children’s salvation. I am to be an example to them of what a Christian is, but they have free will to walk to or away from Christ. Through Christ’s strength, I can be content trusting God with the outcome because He loves my children even more than I do.

Scenario 4: Contentment in Differences 
And for my personal biggest struggle, I get angry with God that other families don’t deal with the heartache and frustration of having a child with special needs. 

It’s the broken dreams.
Interrupted expectations. 
Unfulfilled traditions. 

When the emotions are the hardest and the lies the loudest, I must take my thoughts captive and  “present my request to God” with thanksgiving. In the process of seeing God’s goodness – even in the hard, difficult times; I am reminded that the “Lord is near.” Through Christ’s strength, I can be content that God knows the work I do behind closed doors, and that we are all a work in progress and in need of a Savior. 

What lies of comparison are you being pressured to believe? 

As we go through the holiday season, I invite you to join me in rejoicing in truth, trusting God through the anxiety, and taking every thought captive. Then abide in the peace of God, for the Lord is near. 

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