Parenting is beautiful, exhausting, sanctifying, and sometimes overwhelming—all before 9:00 am.
Years ago, I came across A Child’s 10 Commandments to Parents by Dr. Kevin Leman. The words have stayed with me because they gently reminded me to see the world through a child’s eyes.
As parents and teachers, we can get so focused on correcting behavior, checking boxes, and making it through the day that we forget something important: children are still learning.
Here are a few reminders that have encouraged me over the years.
“My hands are small…”
Little hands are still learning. Shoes get put on the wrong feet. Milk spills. Beds look lumpy after being made.
It can be tempting to step in and fix everything. But childhood is about play-based practice. When we expect perfection too soon, frustration grows—for us and for the child. Instead of focusing on the outcome, celebrate effort.
“I can tell that you really worked hard on that.”
“You didn’t give up even though you are still learning!”
Those words build confidence.
Practical Idea: Pause before correcting. Ask yourself: Is this disobedience (a heart issue), or is the child still learning (a maturity issue) and I need to continue training?
“Please let me explore safely…”
Children are naturally curious which leads to asking a thousand questions a day. They climb, dig, touch, wonder, and throw. While safety matters, so does exploration.
Research continues to show that hands-on play and discovery help children learn best – thus the ABCJesusLovesMe play-based Curriculum. A child learns about textures by touching, science by observing, and problem-solving by trying.
Sometimes growth looks messy. Yes, it may require an immediate bath and the washing machine, but that messy play is often meaningful learning.
Practical Idea: Within the boundaries of safety and obedience, look for opportunities to say “yes.” Instead of always responding with, “Don’t touch that,” consider saying, “Let me show you how to use it safely.”
“I’m only little for a short time…”
Laundry waits. Dishes pile up. Texts remain unanswered. But childhood moves quickly – in a blink it is over. The moments when a child wants to show us a bug, ask endless questions, or snuggle on the couch are fleeting. I can attest to this as my littles are now all grown up.
No parent does this perfectly. I certainly didn’t have the correct balance. But I am learning that connection matters more than crossed-off to-do lists.
Practical Idea: Try a 10-minute pause. Set aside chores and your phone and give your child your full attention—read a book, build blocks, or simply listen.
“My feelings are tender…”
Words matter.
Children may act tough on the outside, but their hearts are tender. Constant correction, criticism, or nagging can discourage even the strongest-willed child.
That does not mean we avoid discipline. Children need – crave – boundaries. But discipline works best when wrapped in love, patience, and relationship. Discipline works best when we come alongside the child as a fellow sinner instead of an expert in obedience.
Correction should guide, not shame.
Ephesians 6:4 (ESV): Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
“I need your encouragement to grow.”
A child who hears, “You can do hard things,” begins to believe it. A child who hears, “I love how you kept trying,” learns perseverance.
This does not mean falsely inflating confidence or teaching the child that he can do anything or simply “follow your heart.” Instead, encourage the child’s work ethic, creativity, kindness, and care for others. Notice effort, growth, and character.
Practical Idea: Aim for more encouragement than correction each day. Notice the small victories.
“Permit me to fail…”
This one can feel hard for moms especially.
We want to protect our children from disappointment. We step in quickly because we care. But in my experience, the mistakes sometimes are bigger teachers. When a tower falls, a friendship feels hard, or a class at school does not go as planned, resilience begins growing. Failure in childhood—within loving support—helps prepare children for adulthood.
Practical Idea: Instead of rescuing immediately, ask: “What do you think you could try next?”
“Please don’t compare me…”
Comparison quietly steals confidence. Every child develops differently. One child may speak early while another builds amazing problem-solving skills. One may love books while another learns best through movement.
Growth is not a race. Celebrate who the child is becoming instead of measuring against siblings, classmates, or milestones.
Psalm 139:14 (ESV): I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
“Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together.”
Leaving our children can be difficult. It’s entirely natural to miss them and worry while we’re away. However, taking time apart is healthy for the whole family. As Dr. Kevin Leman wisely notes, “Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it’s a great way to show your kids that your marriage is very special.”
It feels like our children will stay young forever, but they grow up in the blink of an eye. When they finally leave the nest, will your marriage still be thriving—or will it have been sidelined?
“Please take me to church regularly…”
Faith is often caught before it is taught. Children take note of what matters to us. They watch how we pray, speak, serve, and trust God in hard moments. They notice how often we put other activities before church.
You do not need perfect family devotions or Pinterest-worthy faith moments. Simple faithfulness matters. Read a Bible story from a quality children’s Bible. Pray together. Regularly attend and serve in a local church. Let them see you have a daily quiet time. Talk about God naturally in everyday moments.
Those little seeds matter more than we realize.
Practical Idea: If God is important to you, your kids will take note of this.
One Final Encouragement
Parenting is not about perfection. It is about showing up, apologizing when needed, staying consistent, and asking God for wisdom along the way.
Some days will feel messy. Some seasons will feel exhausting. But when we slow down and try to see the world through a child’s eyes, we are often reminded of something beautiful: The little moments matter.
Inspired by ideas shared in “A Child’s 10 Commandments to Parents” by Dr. Kevin Leman, copyright, 1979.
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Know a mom, grandparent, or teacher who could use encouragement today? Share this post with them. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder that childhood is short—and the little moments are shaping hearts.
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