Helping Kids Handle Fear - Parenting to Impress

Read an updated blog post from May 24, 2010.

Last night, while I was laying in bed reading a book, Bubs walked into my room with a worried look on his face. You could tell something was bothering him deeply.

He climbed up beside me and said, “I can’t get [the movie] out of my mind.”

This was a movie we had chosen not to let him watch because he has always struggled with scary images and thoughts sticking in his mind. Honestly, it’s probably a movie that most five-year-olds have already seen several times. But every child is different, and we knew it would be too much for him.

Unfortunately, he watched it at a friend’s house.

When a Child Feels Afraid

Our conversation went something like this:

“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t get the movie out of my mind.”
“What are you supposed to do when you get scared?”
“I tried to pray, but it didn’t work. God didn’t take it away.”

That answer stopped me for a second because I think many adults feel that way too. We pray once and expect the fear to instantly disappear. But sometimes courage comes one step at a time.

So I asked him:

“What is the memory verse you have been learning at church?”
“God will take care of you.”
“I want you to say it over and over until you fall asleep.”
“But what if the thoughts come back?”
“You tell Satan that you are Jesus’ boy because Jesus lives in your heart. God will take care of you.”

After we prayed together, Bubs went back to bed smiling.

We Cannot Bubble-Wrap Our Children

As parents, we want to protect our children from everything. We want to shield them from hurt feelings, scary situations, bad dreams, disappointment, and fear. If we could completely bubble-wrap childhood, many of us probably would. But we all know that is not realistic.

Scary things will happen. Hard situations will come. A child will hear words they cannot forget, see something unsettling, or experience fear they do not know how to handle. Our job is not to remove every hard thing from their lives. Our job is to prepare them for those moments.

Teaching Children What to Do With Fear

For some children, especially sensitive or sensory children, scary images can replay over and over in their minds long after everyone else has forgotten about them. That does not make them weak. It simply means their brains hold onto experiences differently. This is me!

One of the greatest gifts we can give a child is teaching them where to run when fear comes. Not only running to Mom or Dad, but learning to run to God. That does not mean fear magically disappears immediately, but with practice and time they will learn that God is greater than their fears.

Helping Sensitive Children Feel Safe

If your child struggles with fear after watching something scary, here are a few things that may help:

Be Careful with Media Choices: Not every “kid movie” is appropriate for every child. You know your child best. It is okay to say no to movies, shows, or games even if their friends are doing it. Trust me!

Keep Communication Open: Create a home where a child feels safe saying, “I’m scared,” without embarrassment.

Teach Truth Before Fear Comes: Memory verses, prayer, worship songs, and Bible stories give children tools they can use later when hard moments come.

Create Calming Bedtime Habits: Soft music, prayer, dim lights, reading together, or reviewing truth before bed can help anxious minds settle.

Remind Them They Are Not Alone: Fear often feels isolating to children. They need reminders that God is with them and that Mom and Dad are there to help them build courage too.

Read Quality Books: Teach children about emotions and courage through quality books that take big concepts and make them easily understood by a child.

God Is Always There

I still remember Bubs walking back to bed that night with peace on his face. The scary thoughts may not have vanished instantly, but he was reminded of something greater than his fear: God was with him.

And honestly, that is something all of us need to remember.