If asked what the most beneficial tool in my parenting toolbox is, I would say – without any hesitation, “One-Liners.”
These pre-scripted, parenting quotes have been instrumental in training my children. And parents and teachers continue to echo my sentiments as they have also seen these short phrases transform their homes and classrooms.
Why Are One-Liners So Powerful?
One-liners are pre-scripted short phrases that remove emotions, provide a consistent answer, and eliminate fuel from potentially heated situation.
Let’s break down this sentence and look at some examples.
Pre-Scripted
One-liners are short phrases that you develop to use at a later time. The quotes remove the desperation to create a response on the fly! When tensions rise, quickly grab a one-liner to deescalate any situation.
Child: I don’t want to _______.
Parent: I am sorry that you feel that way.
Child: I hate when you tell me to ______.
Parent: I am sorry that you feel that way.
Teen: Mom, Tommy thinks you are too strict. He says that I should be able to do whatever I want now that I am 16.
Parent: Wow…that is interesting. What do you think about that?
Remove Emotions
If you have parented for any amount of time, you’ve probably been told that you’re an awful parent, your child hates you, or any other disrespectful comment. It can be tempting to respond with a list of all you have done for the child. But we all know that with emotions at a high, nothing said with emotion will calm emotion.
One-liners validate the child’s feelings and words without adding emotion to the conversation. Because one-liners are pre-scripted means that you can speak without anger or frustration.
Child: I hate you.
Parent: Aren’t your glad I don’t believe that? (Or…That’s sad, because I love you.)
Child: I don’t love you.
Parent: Aren’t your glad I don’t believe that? (Or…That’s sad, because I love you.)
Child: Don’t talk to me anymore.
Parent: Walk away.
Child: Sitting on the floor of the bathroom with your makeup on all possible surfaces.
Parent: Are you making a good choice or bad choice? (Or…This makes me sad. How are you going to fix this situation?)
Consistent Answer
Having a select one-liners in your parenting toolbox allows an adult to be consistent in responses. It also places the issue back in the child’s hands as the adult consistently (without emotion) replies with the same one-liner.
Child: (Whining) I want a snack.
Parent: I’m happy to talk to you when you stop whining.
Child: (Whining) But I’m so hungry.
Parent: I’m happy to talk to you when you stop whining.
Parent: Tommy, please pick up your toys.
Child: Why?
Parent: Obey first. Discuss after.
Child: Why doesn’t Sally have to pick up her toys?
Parent: Obey first. Discuss after.
Teen: Can I go over to Joy’s house?
Parent: What chores do you have to finish?
Teen: All of them, but we have to study for the math test tonight.
Parent: You are welcome to go when your chores are done.
Teen: You never let me do what I want.
Parent: You are welcome to go when your chores are done.
Remove Fuel
I am raising a lawyer. A really good one! Little Man would argue about the color of grass if I would further the conversation. One-liners remove the fuel (words and emotion) to an argument. Without the fuel, the fire dies out and the reason to argue is removed.
Parent: Please put your blocks away.
Child: Then can I get a snack?
Parent: Please put your blocks away. (Or, obedience produces clarity.)
Child: Can I get a snack? I’m hungry.
Parent: Please put your blocks away. (Or, obedience produces clarity.)
Parent: Freddy, give your sister a cookie, please.
Child: I don’t want to.
Parent: I’m sorry that you feel that way.
Child: Why do I have to share with her?
Parent: I love you too much to argue.
Child: She didn’t share with me last time.
Parent: I love you too much to argue.
Parent: Because you chose to not obey, you will need to do the dishes tonight before bed.
Child: Whatever. Just stop talking now.
Parent: I am sorry that you have chosen to be disrespectful. I’ll get back to you on how we will handle that disrespect.
Child: I don’t care.
Parent: Thank you for sharing.
Free One-Liners Download (Available for a Limited Time)
The hardest thing about one-liners is getting started using them. This is why I have created a fantastic printable to post in your home or classroom. Then choose one broken record to begin using in the current situation that you are dealing with and implement without anger or sarcasm as conversations arise. Slowly add more and more to your repertoire as you become confident.
You won’t believe how easy it is! Download here: Free One-Liners Download
Need More Guidance and Develop Consequences
- View the 3-Part Biblical Discipline Video Series
- Attend an upcoming ABCJesusLovesMe Parent and Teacher Conference
- Read Heidi’s favorite parenting books
- Join us on the ABCJesusLovesMe private Facebook Group and Instagram as we will be talking one-liners all week!
