Simple Ways to Encourage Kindness in Your Kids

When my kids were young, we spent a lot of time in the car waiting for various activities to begin or end. Instead of turning on screens, I kept a classic or award-winning chapter book or a Bible in the car to read. One was The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo.  This very interesting story is about a china rabbit named Edward who learns to love through a series of challenging experiences.

One particular situation in the book had a profound impact on all of us. Edward is given to a very ill 4-year-old girl by her older brother, who stole the rabbit to make his sister happy. Despite their difficult circumstances, the brother shows incredible kindness and encouragement towards his sister, making me reflect on how well I was teaching my children to be kind.

Over the years, I’ve used several books and ideas to teach my children kindness. Here is a collection of these methods and links to explore more.

Model Kindness Through Actions and Words

In order for kids to be kind, they need to hear and see kindness modeled.

Adults are great – or not so great – examples to children on how to use (or not use) kind words. Kids are watching how we talk to our spouses, how we speak about our co-workers, and even how we talk to telemarketers.

Tone and word choice are crucial in showing kindness. I frequently tell my children that you can express the same point and get different reactions based on the words and tone you choose.

For example:

• “This food looks gross. What is it?” vs. “Mom, is this a new recipe? What is in it?”
• “I hate this game.” vs. “This game isn’t my favorite, but I really like Uno.”

Encourage Kind Words with a Kindness Jar

A Kindness Jar is a great way to encourage kind words. Fill a jar with candy (perfect for using leftover Halloween, Valentine’s, or Easter candy) and label it “Kindness Jar.” Sit down with your child(ren) and explain that your family is going to help each other use kind words by using the Kindness Jar.

Every time someone is “caught” being kind with their words, they get to take a sweet treat from the jar. Encourage the kids to look for other family members being kind as well.

Another variation is to begin with an empty jar. Add a cotton ball or a coin to the jar with each kind word said. When the jar is filled, celebrate with a fun activity or treat. This activity works great in a classroom setting as well.

Use Books to Teach Kindness

Books are an excellent way to teach kindness. Here are two options.

For late preschool and elementary ages, the book Bax and His Bubbles models weighing your thoughts better than any other resource I’ve seen. Bax learns to evaluate his thoughts, which then influence his words and actions.

Additionally, written by the Time 2021 Kind of the Year, Orion Jean encourages kids to join the Race to Kindness. Orion teaches children that kindness means looking for ways to help—even in small acts, include others, and not waiting to start being kind.

By incorporating these ideas into your daily routine, you can help your child learn to be kind and empathetic. Remember, teaching kindness is an ongoing process that requires patience and consistency. Keep modeling kind behavior, encouraging kind words, and using resources like books to reinforce the message. Together, we can raise a kinder generation.

Read more Kindness Ideas…

• Ideas to Create Kindness in Children
• How to Teach Children to Use Words of Kindness Part 1 and 2
• Bible Stories and Books to Teach Kindness

Thank you to Zonderkidz for the review of Race to Kindness. Opinions are 100% my own.