The Hard Reality and Hidden Purpose of ADHD Parenting

When Bubs was just a baby, I read a parenting book written by a mom raising a boy with ADHD. At the time, I didn’t know much about ADHD. I remember thinking how incredibly hard that must be—parenting a child who never slows down, who struggles to focus, who acts before thinking.

I had no idea I was reading a glimpse of my own future.

Bubs—our oldest—was diagnosed with ADHD with hyperactivity in elementary school. Doctors explained that over 70% of infants who had open heart surgery, like he did and at the time he did, faced challenges like ADHD and developmental delays. It helped explain some things… but it didn’t make the road easier.

Then came along Little Man. And suddenly, everything I thought I understood about ADHD was stretched further than I imagined possible.

Where Bubs struggled, Little Man lived at a completely different pace. It was like his mind and body were always running a race no one else could see. His impulsivity was constant. His energy never seemed to drain. Parenting him made those earlier years of parenting feel quiet by comparison.

If you’re walking this road, you probably understand what I mean without needing it explained.

Raising a Child with ADHD Can Break You—and Build You

For the parent…

There aren’t words for how hard this parenting journey has been for me.

Parenting Little Man has pushed me to my limits in ways I didn’t know existed. There were moments where emotions rose so fast it scared me, and nights where I ended up on my knees begging God for wisdom recognizing that my own wasn’t enough.

From the time he was little, there was no such thing as “out of reach.” If he wanted something, he would find a way to get it. That hasn’t really changed.

I’m not a perfect parent—but I am a consistent one. I say what I mean, and I follow through. And while that’s exactly what he needed, it came at a cost. It meant always being alert. Always being one step ahead. It meant there was no real “off” switch. Even something as simple as taking a shower had to be planned around when another adult could watch to make sure he didn’t do something damaging or dangerous.

It’s exhausting in a way that settles deep into your core.

And if I’m being honest, his ability to argue, negotiate, and question everything can still make me second-guess myself more than I’d like to admit.

If you’ve ever felt that—like you’re constantly wondering if you’re doing it right—I see you.

For the child…

But ADHD isn’t just hard on the family.

An ADHD brain isn’t broken—it’s just wired differently. And sometimes that wiring makes the world feel overwhelming.

Little Man’s mind doesn’t really rest. Sleep is minimal. Emotions run deep and strong. He feels everything intensely—loyalty, frustration, excitement, disappointment.

Along with ADHD, he also has a mild Autism diagnosis, which adds another layer. His thinking can be very black and white, very rigid. And being highly intelligent can make it hard for him to connect with others. He pushes away those who love him most.

Sometimes it feels like he’s trying to live in a world that wasn’t designed with his kind of brain in mind. And that’s a heavy thing for a child to carry.

But God…

Somewhere in the middle of all of this—between the exhausting days and the restless nights—God has been quietly at work.

Raising Little Man has changed me.

It’s softened edges I didn’t know I had. It’s taught me patience in a way nothing else could. It’s moved my faith from something I understood in my head to something I depend on in every moment.

I used to rely on plans, control, and systems. I am learning to rely on God – sometimes second by second – because this journey will show you very quickly how much you don’t have what it takes. But He does.

And somehow, in ways only He can orchestrate, none of it has been wasted.

The intense struggles, the tears, the painful lessons…God has taken what we’ve walked through and used it to help me encourage other parents, to share what I’ve learned, and to remind others that they’re not alone in this.

Your Child Is Not a Mistake

From the time Little Man was young, we’ve told him the same thing over and over: God didn’t make a mistake when He made you.

And I believe that with my whole heart.

The way his mind works—the creativity, the intensity, the way he sees things others don’t—that’s not accidental. It’s purposeful.

Yes, it’s challenging. Yes, most days are exhausting. But it’s also full of potential. When surrendered to God, Little Man’s very traits will be used in powerful ways. I believe that what feels like “too much” now… is exactly what God will use to further His Kingdom.

Welcome to the Amazing Brain Club

There’s a beautiful picture of this in a new book called The Amazing Brain Club (ad) by Lindsey Goff Viducich. It helps kids see that the very things they sometimes get in trouble for—the energy, the curiosity, the questions—are not flaws, but gifts. It reminds them that they were created with intention. And that truth matters—especially for kids who often feel like they don’t quite fit. Here are a couple of amazing quotes from this book:

“When God created you, He knew that world needed a brain just like yours.”
“God wired each of our brains with a purpose. He made us all unique, to reflect Him in a special way as a member of the Amazing Brain Club.”

If You’re in This Season…

Whether you’re just starting this journey, right in the middle of it, or walking alongside someone who is—this may be one of the hardest things you ever do.

But you are not alone.

God is present in the chaos, in the exhaustion, in the moments you feel like you’ve run out of patience and don’t know what to do next.

He is steady when everything else feels unpredictable.

So keep going. Keep seeking Him. Keep loving your child fiercely.

And when it feels like too much, remember—sometimes the heaviest roads are the ones where God does His deepest work.